K.C-BAL.:
PLAY: Ravens -3/ Over 40.5 1ST QUARTER Ravens go 13 plays to the 1. Flacco fumbles, run game non-existent. Chiefs look like AFC version of Seahawks, but hold for FG...KC 3 and out, Ravens driving till Flacco fumbles...Jamaal Charles is the real deal, Top 5 Fantasy pick real, 41 yards for TD- best player/worst supporting cast since Larry Bird took Indiana State to the NCAA Final...TJ Houhmanzadeh sighting for 28, but Ravens bog down, forced into an "over-killing" punt from opponents 40...2ND QUARTER: Charles for 11, Charles for 8, Charles for 9, forget Larry Bird this is a David Robinson at Navy kinda one man show...Charles fumbles, both teams trade punts from opponents territory in what has become the football version of the 4 corners offense...Flacco to Rice for a 9 yard TD with 19 seconds and the Ravens/Over parlay has new life...halftime...3RD QUARTER Nakamura (wasn't that the second city hit by the A-bomb) intercepts Cassel, loses lateral, KC recovers and the Over goes back into hiding...4th and 1, Charles loses 4, colorman Mayock tells us "penetration is the key to stopping the run game", no sh*t...Cundiff 29 yd. FG, KC fumble, Cundiff 29 yd. FG, KC int., Flacco to Boldin TD, Ravens 23-7- it's over, but it's not OVER so we'll stick around...4TH QUARTER: Cassel has to pass, but is having as much success finding Bowe as I do with the toothbrush in the tree in Highlights magazine...Cassel to his #2 WR Kevin Curtis. Kevin "Freakin" Curtis? Dear God what an Under...Ravens go on longer march than Mao, kill 10:20 off clock before McGahee from 25 for TD...We need KC TD for the parlay, Cassel sacked, Cassel incomplete, Cassel sacked, punt- sounds about right...Ravens 30 KC 7.
FINAL THOUGHTS: KC was better than the Seahawks and playing at an equally advantageous home field which should tell you all you need to know about the dominance of the best in the AFC over the best in the NFC...The Ravens running game is like the thong drawer in Rosie O'Donnell's dresser, it doesn't exist. Forget the numbers, most of that was piled up late when the KC defense was on the field constantly and Baltimore had put up a near 2:1 advantage in plays run...Not gonna happen against Pittsburgh and James Harrison's gonna be on Flacco like Jerry Lee Lewis on a cousin. Baltimore's defense better show up big at Heinz Field.
SEA.-N.O.:
NOTE: Alright we were wrong. "Dewey Defeats Truman" wrong. Trickle-Down Economics wrong. Quincy Carter as franchise QB wrong. But the scariest part is how wrong we might be. Seattle faces Chicago this week a team they beat handily at Soldier Field at midseason. Win that and couple it with a completely plausible Green Bay over Atlanta outcome and a 7-9 team could be hosting the NFC Championship game. Do they sell Locust Insurance?
PLAY: Saints -10/Under 47...1ST QUARTER: Brees to Colston for 30, Hartley 26 yd. FG, Saints on top faster than Nathan Lane at Fire Island...Hasselbeck intercepted, Brees to Evans 1 yd. TD and this one's done faster than Minute Rice in the microwave....Seahawks answer with TD, but...2ND QUARTER: Saints drive for a Jones TD. It's still over right?...Roman Harper bites on the Medi-Alert play ("I've fallen and I can't get up") and Hasselbeck to wide open Carlson 17-14 N.O.... Seattle FG ties it then in moment that causes every NY Giant fan to flashback Brandon Stokeley beats Jason Sehorn...er...Roman Harper for a 45 yard score and it's on baby...How bad is Saints S Roman Harper? He's been lit up like Richard Pryor for three huge plays (Carlson TD, Moorah 39-yarder, Stokeley TD) and there's still 5 minutes left in the half...Credit the fans. Crowd noise causing more false starts than the ADHD 100M Dash...Saints get chip shot from Hartley, 24-20 Seahawks...halftime. 3RD QUARTER: Put the parlay in the books as Hasselbeck goes 38 to Mike Williams for TD 3 minutes in...Reggie Bush stinks, yet still looks pissed that Julius Jones is getting playing time...Seattle FG at 5:27, Saints go for it 4th and 1 at own 37 and are stuffed, then miraculously force a punt to stay alive. 4TH QUARTER: Saints get TD and FG and close the gap, problem is they've turned into an episode of Friends where for every Chandler/Joey comedy score the D plays Ross/Rachel and brings you back down...3:22 Marshawn Lynch goes 67 yards like Fred Flintstone carrying the whole Stony Rock team and the worst club in playoff history has dethroned the defending champs.
PHI.-G.B.: PLAY: Philly -2.5/Under 46. 1ST QUARTER: David Akers misses from 41 and the Under's off to a flying start...Desean Jackson's ankle gets rolled like a drunken "John" and Philly's minus 1 major weapon less then 8 minutes in...James Starks comes out of nowhere (U. of Buffalo actually) to give GB a run game...Philly D in the Red Zone is like a balanced breakfast to Karen Carpenter- it means nothing, and Rodgers finds Tom "You Can Call Me Chubsy-Ubsy" Crabtree for 7-0 lead...Announcer calls Jordy Nelson, "crafty, steady", I guess you just can't say "he's white"...GB's James Jones has dropped more balls this year than Michael J. Fox calling Bingo, but holds on off a Rodgers scramble and Philly's in trouble 14-3...And there's Jones calling out B14 on a perfect strike from Rodgers to save our Under just before halftime. 3RD QUARTER: Rodgers fumble, Avant TD and both ends of our parlay are alive 14-10...Rodgers right back to Brandon Jackson and we're in trouble again 21-10...4TH QUARTER: Akers with more shanks than a prison riot and we'll take a split as Philly fans get restless...Starks helps GB eat clock...Vick from 1 yd. makes it 21-16, 2-pt. fails as Akers' wife slips out of stadium quietly...Last chance, but Vick intercepted in end zone looking for Riley "Steady, Crafty" Cooper instead of Jax/Maclin and it's done.
FINAL THOUGHT: Rodgers rocks, add in any semblance of a running game to go with tough D and this team could be peaking at right time.
IND.-NYJ:
PLAY Jets +2.5/Over 44.5. 1ST QUARTER: First impression is that Joseph Addai is slow. Dial up internet slow. Molina brothers slow. Bad Guy/Heel escaping a Steel Cage in Pro Wrestling slow. Let's sign 52 year old Dominic Rhodes off the UFL Florida Tuskers roster slow...LT, on other hand, looks spry going for 23 on the first drive...Shonn Greene also looks fresh, but Sanchez has overthrown Keller more times than a Central American democracy and it's scoreless end of 1...2ND QUARTER: The entire game consists of drives that stall between the 40s and lead to pooch punts. Another disaster for our Over...Finally Manning to Garcon for 57 yds. 7-0 Colts...Jets drive back, but Sanchez intercepted at goal line. This won't fly vs. the Pats...45 seconds and the great Peyton on the field and HC Caldwell runs Rhodes up the middle, more on him later. Halftime...3RD QUARTER: Jets storm out to TD 7-7...Revis has made Reggie Wayne disappear like Spearchucker Jones from M*A*S*H (did they think they'd get away with that). Does he shadow Welker or Branch if Jets advance...Colts FG 10-7, but then...4TH QUARTER: Jets go on longest drive since I was 6 and Mom made us go to Mystic Seaport (17 plays) and it's Jets back on top...Fast forward to Colts 16-14, Jets in position for 49 yard FG attempt before Caldwell inexplicably calls timeout. Jets can still run down clock, but now get an extra play. 18 yards to Edwards, FG is now chippy, Manning throws up hands and it's not a good time to be Jim Caldwell.
FINAL NOTE: Jets will play better vs. Pats this time around, but Sanchez cannot waste opportunities like this and expect Brady/Belichick to stick around. Looking forward to excellent AFC matchups next week.
