Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Sports Limericks O' The Day

Don't ask me why just know somewhere Dorothy Parker and Ogden Nash are turning over in their graves...uh wait...they're dead right?...Well, either way...

The Rolling Of Heads

Shanahan got canned, without a whimper or cough
Chudzinki Schwartz Kubiak, their jobs have been lost
But one starts to wonder, as one does on the sauce
Dennis Allen? Mike Munchak? Are their cell phones shut off?

'Boys Will Be 'Boys

Down by two, but they had the ball
When Callahan sent in the call
Then Orton got picked
'Ol Jerry got dicked
Guess it wasn't Tony's fault after all

...and in apology there's this...

Happy New Year to all...though I'm sure hers is taken care of...

Thursday, August 29, 2013

My Sad Life In Cards...

As I rummaged through my old baseball cards Saturday night wondering if  ever crossed swords with  during their playing days I sadly realized I needed to get out more often.
I mean I’m no “Playa” as they say, but it might be nice to maybe cop some or even just get my .
But alas the game has changed since I was last out there. I’m told I need to “manscape” first which in the old days meant  but now just makes you “Metrosexual”.
And hey I don’t mind doing a little . Especially if it makes my look bigger. Besides I don’t want some girl that shows up all  so I guess fair is fair.
But I have to make sure I find a nice girl or next thing you know you’ve got a case of  which I believe comes from sleeping with guys with .
Not to mention I’m not into anything kinky. No S&M chick who wants to whip me with a cat o’ nine tails  or nymphomaniac begging me to  please. I mean a little  is as far as I’ll go.
Heck anyone without a  or a  will do just fine. In the end though if I could just find a  I’d be a . But alas nothing in this  so I guess I’ll just go back to being a .
No, seriously...True Story...OK, I'll stop now.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Cards And Other Silliness

We’re back after the BTIH trip to Saratoga Racetrack, better known as our annual extravaganza of gambling, gluttony and generally getting -d. In the past we announced our appearance on these humble pages, but considering I’m usually a  with a bad case of the  by day’s end we thought it best to go .
BIRTHDAY: We couldn’t let the posthumous 69th birthday (August 8th) of legendary porn star John Holmes AKA Johnny Wadd go by unnoticed. Blessed with a package guaranteed to make your own  with envy Holmes life story can be glimpsed in the movies Boogie Nights and Wonderland. A spreader of the AIDS virus and failed Drug Lord Holmes was not always the nicest of guys, but as collectors of vintage porn can attest he could sure . RIP.
POLITICS: Normally it would be hard for an industry to produce another  as Anthony Weiner on short notice but politics seems to attract a steady stream of perverts who are  and willing to try. The latest scumbag du jour is serial harasser and San Diego mayor Bob Filner. Now , I realize everybody likes a little  now and then, but this guy's   (NHL) apparently never rests. According to complaints from numerous female city employees it is clear Mayor Filner indiscriminately slapped a  on any  that passed by. However, instead of resigning Filner said he would make it all better by submitting to a two week Sensitivity Training Program…Oh by the way he declared himself cured after one week and billed the taxpayers for the cost I  not…
ALEX RODRIGUEZ: We couldn’t get away without mentioning this story so with all due respect to Ryan Braun, who at least disappeared quietly, here’s our  of the Year commentary on A-Rod…
This  us off many times over the years, but we thought this time we would see this . But then we watch as this -s behind the Union which files an appeal so we have to watch this  his stats for at least another month. In his first at-bat back this  a single, but before long pitchers start to take care of this , but in the end we all know what this  and that’s the money. Hell this  probably  if the price was right. So here’s hoping this -d on the wrong horse, they suspend him till he’s past 40 and we never have to see this  in MLB ever again….and just for the heck of it !
BABE OF THE WEEK: Finally our Hottie O’ The Day is the girlfriend of Northern Ireland golfer and 2010 U.S. Open Champion Graeme McDowell      a pulchritudinous pixie bound to get one strapping a stranglehold on the bald-headed  and thinking to oneself !!
That’s all, but we’re seriously looking for more names to keep this stupidity going. So if you have any we’re all ears…. You can leave them in the comment section below.