Sunday, November 4, 2012

Notes Just A Stone's Throw From Dementia

To quote The Most Annoying Man in the World: "I don't always have thoughts, but when I do they are random." So here's mine as regards Hurricane Sandy...

--Candles Suck! And though I've never seen Sandalwood in nature I now what it smells like forever...not to mention Clean Linen, Cucumber & Melon, Summer's Eve (which did actually smell like a douche), Autumn Woods and my personal favorite My Day's End...because I never knew shame had a scent.

--Fires are not much better, I mean, unless you have this set up...
...And by the way when did they Fireplace kit stop including a bellows...or was that just invented by the Three Stooges to torture each other with?

--Power was out for 5 days and next to David (Son of Sam) Berkowitz I'm probably the last guy you want alone in a dark room for long stretches with only his thoughts...and yes the neighbor's dog did start talking to me, but fortunately he only said, "Kill Cats!"...though more than a few lines of Bruce Cockburn's "If I had A Rocket Launcher" were sung in a knees to chest, rockin', monotone (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7vCww3j2-w)

--If I go more than two days without a shower there's no way to comb my hair that I don't look like William Henry Harrison.

Seriously people if you learn nothing else here...if it's storming out, for God's sake, wear a jacket...(http://blonderandthinner.blogspot.com/2010/05/william-henry-harrison-he-didnt-die-of.html)...oh yeah and stay off the drugs too...

--I finally know what my Grandma meant when she used to say so-and-so got Prostrate Cancer. You can really injure yourself from lying flat for too long.

--Thank goodness Books on Tape...no wonder Duran Duran wrote a song about them..."Books on Tape, two minutes later, Books on Tape..."...what?...girls on film?...alright maybe I'm mistaken...(http://vimeo.com/18521738)

--And finally I'm no longer so impressed with people hundred's of years ago working "Sun up till sundown." Without electricity what the f*ck else could you do...

--But mostly thanks to all the public servants getting everything back to normal!



Football what a good idea!