--Additionally like an Arab-American with a yen to become a Crop Duster I have no illusions about what I'm up against here. While the kind words and increasing readership has been nice I realize I have about as much chance of being the next Bill Simmons as Jerry Sandusky does of hosting the Kid's Choice Awards. Still I was a little dismayed when Google, as you will notice above, pulled the advertising thereby denying me at least the Dickensian wage I was working on. But that's fine. I plan to forge on anyway and who knows perhaps I can lure those "One Trick For A Full Night's Sleep" ads to the site because, though it's hard to see the connection, a few more big breasted women is certainly not going to weaken the war effort.
One of the "One Trick For A Full Night's Sleep" Models: This is why I never give my female students homework...sleep, girls, sleep...CFB NOTES
--Years ago I dated a young, hot co-worker who grandiosely proclaimed her Grandfather pitched for the Boston Red Sox. When, after a couple dates, I lured her up to my apartment I did not lead amorously, but instead pulled out the 10,000 page Baseball Encyclopedia, one of the few tomes along with Churchill's Memoirs and the Oxford English Dictionary that actually outlasted my Father's post-Church/pre-Kickoff bathroom ablutions during my childhood. When I showed her that her Grandfather was not included therein she countered with, "Well not everyone, ever, is in that book", which prompted me to turn to Johnson Cin.-1887 AB: 1 R: 0 H: 0 2B: 0 3B: 0 HR: 0 RBI: 0 AVG.: .000 hometown: ? and state haughtily, "If he's in here then everyone's is!" Not realizing at that moment that that would be the only "Johnson" I'd be showing her that evening...or ever.
The point is that Life is a series of games and every decision is "Game Sensitive". In the above case I had no "game" and should've been sensitive of that. Alabama HC Nick Saban, too, had a game and decisions to deal with last Saturday, but his "sensitivity" was akin to that of a Gallagher encore.
After missing a 34 yd FG on their first drive Bama then attempted, and missed badly, two kicks, 49 and 50 yards, that are bombs by college standards particularly in a high pressure game. Hard and unpopular as it may be it appeared, with the Crimson dominating defensively at the time, that Saban would've been wiser to punt and hope to pin LSU deep and play a field position game that, with a 3 and out, could've yielded better opportunities in their next possessions.
Certainly all this is speculative and relatively easy from the comfort of my coach, but big bucks means big decisions. If Saban had been more "game sensitive" he might have concluded that in a projected defensive struggle (the O/U was in the low 40's) yards might be more important than the risky points. Even if only one of the punts was downed inside the 10/5 it could've resulted in a field position driven TD or chip shot FG that could've turned the game.
Point is Nick Saban didn't necessarily lose this game for the Tide (more Les Miles QB move and imagination won it), but neither did his kickers. Three of their four misses were low percentage kicks and two probably shouldn't have been tried at all. Still it was a great game between truly the two best teams in the Nation. Nick and the Boys may yet get a shot at the National Title standing currently at #3 in the BCS, but the chances for me with another nubile, young hottie are long gone...and not just due to the terms of my probation. So stay "sensitive" my friends.
--Listen, despite the cynicism herein fact is I wanna believe in something as much as the next guy...unless of course the next guy is Episcopalian since I'm not ready to accept Joe Piscopo as my Lord and Savior just yet. That is what they believe, right? But the one thing I will not believe in is the moral infallibility of anyone in the Major College FB/BB coaching profession.
Awhile back we referenced the 1970's expose Caught In The Net by former Clemson BB coach and convicted NCAA rules violator Tates Locke who summed up the big time athletics dilemma eloquently when he stated, "I realized it was either cheat or lose and I just got tired of losing."
Indeed try as you might to occupy the moral high ground folks like Jim Tressel, Dennis Erickson, John Calipari and Bob Huggins are gonna make you into a martyr the likes of which could make Joan of Arc look like Sammy "The Bull" Gravano turning state's evidence.
Therefore I have little doubt that Joe Paterno's firing is much deserved. By dint of starting his career 46 years ago Paterno is, I'm sure, much cleaner and done much more for kids over the years than guys who entered the biz more recently. Still even an icon of his stature is not free from the pressures inherent in today's money-first CFB landscape. After a few sketchy seasons in the 2000's he was forced to participate in a power struggle to save his job. This coincidentally coincided with a string of arrests that culminated in a 2008 ESPN Outside The Lines investigation that revealed that Paterno had shielded 46 FB players from over 163 charges over a 5 year period by convincing the authorities that the matters were being handled internally. The expose closes with a parent of a PSU student who was severely beaten by a gang of players saying that all he wanted was not criminal convictions, but simply an apology from Paterno. He's still waiting.
The writers at CollegeFootball News.com staged a Point/CounterPoint debate on Paterno's firing yesterday and while no one called the other an ignorant slut it did prove how difficult it is to believe Paterno is clean in this whole affair. The argument in favor of keeping JoePa coming down to the idea that if after reporting the McQuery matter to the AD he was told an investigation had cleared Sandusky he would be exonerated from any further wrongdoing. But one must ask why if this were the case was Paterno, or someone on his behalf, not trumpeting that news to the masses.
Paterno was a God in Happy Valley and dictated to all and sundry in that manner. But his was a Kingdom, like so many others, predicated on winning and revenue generation; graduation rates and general morality be damned. To think that Paterno helped brush this matter under the carpet and even was instrumental in getting Sandusky back in the facility where he could keep an eye on him is in no way a leap. In fact for anyone who has followed big time College athletics down into it's current ethical morass this seems like the only logical explanation. We'll almost certainly never know the real truth, but if there is such a thing as guilt by association, then if he wanted to preserve his legacy, Joe Paterno shoulda got outta this business long ago.
Seriously Jerry Sandusky...weren't checking out co-eds and curiously long showers enough for you at this point.--There's an idea that things that haven't occurred in a long time are "due". If that's the case then I should be bedding down a women at any moment now. And if this theory holds true my advice to her would be "bring a helmet" because I'm so "due" I could knock a lamp off the nightstand. The morning after looking like Dealey Plaza as the paramedics try to figure out like a Larry Flynt sponsored Warren Commission, "did the shot go in through the temple and come out through the back...or were they doing it doggy-style".
If you're thoroughly nauseous at this point then let's bring things back to the original point which is if anyone was ever "due" to not cover the spread it's Stanford. Going back to 2010 the Cardinal has covered 14 straight games an unprecedented streak though were not sure how far back record keeping of this sort really goes. A few weeks back Washington was a popular dog against the Luck Bunch, but was annihilated easily both ATS and SU. Since then they've covered 2 more vs. USC (barely) and Oregon State meaning bookmakers have to be taking it on the chin like a bound Helen Keller giving fellatio as the bandwagon fills up.
Today they're at home giving 3.5 to Oregon. The Ducks are always better in Eugene so this line actually seems a little low. OU has faced LSU, Cal and #18 Arizona State while Stanford has taken on no one short of USC who they struggled past in 3 OTs after forcing the extra time with a TD with only 51 seconds remaining. Maybe this then is the week the books try to burn the people and recoup their losses. We're no big fans of Oregon on the road and have all the respect for Stanford's vertical game, but all good things must come to an end. So if you like to have a little something riding on the big TV, marquee matchup consider the Ducks...they just might be due (our official picks are below).
Frankly that looks painful, but who am I not to ask her if I can borrow a pencil?--Quick Hits: Speaking of "due" did Oklahoma State's defense get exposed Saturday night against a generally one-dimensional Kansas State team that put up 276 yards rushing and 507 overall in Stillwater? Now they're no Tuesday Night Toledo, but I've heard of GHB-ed girls that put up more resistance than that. Today they face an up and down Texas Tech in Lubbock and with their stock rising to #2 in the BCS the points (+20) could be enticing...And speaking of Toledo what's with HC Tim Beckman declaring that any player not 10 minutes early to a meeting is punished? Did this guy play guitar in Spinal Tap before getting into coaching? I could almost hear Rob Reiner's psuedo-documentarian Marty DiBergi asking him, "why don't you just start the meeting at 8:50 instead of 9 and punish anyone not there on time?" But I'm afraid the answer would be it, "but it goes to 11."...And finally the Sioux Indian Tribe is suing North Dakota University over their nickname the Fighting Sioux. I've never understood this really. Teams take on a nickname because they believe it represents pride and strength. I mean you don't see the Ostriches or the Fightin' Jm J. Bullocks out there anywhere do you. So alright maybe the Redskins and Cleveland's Chief Wahoo could do with a little tweaking, but hey if this works look out Michigan State and San Jose State Spartans Greece might just see this as a way out of their debt situation.
I've fought it all these years, but maybe DisneyLand really is "Where Dreams Come True".--We wrote out a list of 10 games we like today. We've alluded to a few of them here, but for our official play we're going to take the easy way out and say no way Penn State can overcome the surrounding turmoil to be mentally ready to play today. Try Nebraska -3 though we wish the Nittany Lions were up against a less Scizophrenic squad in this one.
