Showing posts with label Tigers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tigers. Show all posts
Monday, April 13, 2015
From Shuttee Industries To You
Late, but for posterity sake here are today's plays...Det., Tex., CHC, Col....good luck. If playing Toronto/Tampa Bay tonight be sure to check Jake Odorizzi's Home/Away split from last year.
Friday, August 15, 2014
A Motel By The Water & A Quart Of Bombay Gin (AL Notes)
Is it just me or does this whole Ice Bucket Challenge thing
sound like a nipple fetishist using people’s charitable nature to see girl’s in
wet t-shirts?
In other news I know what with work, vacations,
back-to-school shopping you are busy
people so as we did for the National League we have wrapped up the AL in a
nice, neat package for you…and I gotta tell you, much like George Costanza’s
imaginary addition on The Guggenheim, it really didn’t take that long…Enjoy!
AMERICAN LEAGUE (in
power ranking order, playoffs below)
1. OAKLAND A’S- Without arguing specific examples on the
whole a pitcher moving from the NL to the AL is kinda like the difference
between picking up co-eds at the University of Vermont vs. the University of
Texas. At the former the talent isn’t overwhelming and you can get by being
quirky and cute; at the latter every chick can rake, so to speak, and you
better bring the looks and a trust fund if you wanna make the cut. So when
Oakland acquired Samardzjia and Hammel from the Cubs that was a solid move.
When they acquired Jon Lester from Boston, however, they got a killer! He’s
already 3-0 with a 1.98 FIP in 3 starts for them and he has 2 excellent playoff
runs on his resume. The return of Josh Reddick has shored up the lineup and Josh
Donaldson seems to be picking up the pace in August. Toss in the emergence of
Sean Doolittle (12.65 K/9) as closer and some nice platoon pieces (Gomes, Jaso,
Callaspo, Vogt) to balance the lineup and we believe they’ll hold off the
Angels in the West.
2. DETROIT TIGERS- As the old LHP (loch-handed poet) Robert
Burns wrote, “The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men/Gang aft a-gley” which I
believe is Scottish for “I burned the fuckin’ scones again!” The additions of
David Price and Joakim Soria were supposed to make this staff unbeatable and
rectify the bullpen respectively. Now Soria’s on the DL along with Anibal
Sanchez, Justin Verlander has “multiple incidences of inflammation” in his
shoulder and closer Joe Nathan is thinking of growing a Joba-esque beard so he
can flip off fans with that under-the-chin gesture without drawing notice from
the press. Where there’s Scherzer and Miggy there’s enough to get by, but if
they don’t pull their scones out of the fire, in a manner of speaking, soon it
will all be for waste.
Joey Nat keepin' it classy!
3. LA/ANAHEIM ANGELS- I worked with a beautiful blonde who
would break up with a different guy every coupla months causing women in the
break room to lament her luckless plight. Today, of course, she’s married with
two kids in a McMansion and I’m, well, here…showing the difference between
being a beautiful blonde and a snarky, shut-in. The Angels are like the
beautiful blonde of MLB. They signed Pujols and he wasn’t their savior. They
picked up C.J. Wilson, but the staff still floundered. They signed Josh
Hamilton and he faltered out of the box. Meanwhile they just kept getting asked
out until Prince Charming in the forms of Mike Trout and Garrett Richards made
things right. The bats are, overall, tops in the AL, but the pitching shows
cracks. Wilson has struggled in 3 starts back from the DL, Jered Weaver’s
ERA/FIP/HR% have been rising and his WAR dropping every year since 2011, Tyler
Skaggs has been Tommy John-ed and it seems like a heavy load for Garrett
Richards to carry in his first year as a full-time MLB starter. They did,
however, fix the pen with the addition of Huston Street. If they can win the
division they can get multiple starts per series out of Richards. If they can’t
it may be tough counting on the others to get enough outs to give Mike Trout
and the bats a shot.
4. KC ROYALS- I look at this team like I do Mila Kunis. I’d
never throw the Royals outta bed, but from a distance I’m really not as
impressed with them as some folks. Their recent hot streak has brought out the
bandwagon jumpers, but we’re going to stay true to what we thought back in
April. This is a good team with a top-notch pen, an above average staff and a
lineup that’s a bit too Mike Moustakas-y/Raul Ibanez-y for our taste. It’s not
that they can’t hit. They’re mid-pack in Runs Scored (AL), but they are dead
last in HRs, 14th in SLG% and only 13th in OBA meaning
they have to string together a lot of hits to score. Not always easy against
the top pitching they’ll face in the playoffs.
Danny Duffy benefits from a .229 BABIP, Jason Vargas has been lucky on
HR/FB%, James Shields has a 5.00 ERA in the playoffs, Yordano Ventura’s father
was a hamster and Billy Butler smells of elderberries…alright were just
nit-picking at this point (though I think the last one is true). We like this
club, we do, but more as a WC…we’ll see.
5. BALTIMORE ORIOLES- I feel like if I look up TACITURN in
the dictionary I’ll see a picture of Buck Showalter. Maybe we should just be
happy he’s managing and not boring us to tears on the Baseball Tonight desk. In
the end I sometimes see him as a modern-day Gene Mauch ready to over-analyze a
good thing into disaster. Truthfully, though, that’s not the case. In fact the
Buckster has done a super job keeping this thing churning through injuries to
Machado, Wieters, Jimenez and now Hardy and Machado again. Not to mention
masterfully patient work in piecing together a decent pen and uncovering a
quality closer out of the previously mediocre meanderings of Zach Britton. As
long as Hardy and Machado are OK this team can slug their way deep into the
postseason behind Nelson Cruz, Adam Jones and Chris Davis. If they had one
lights-out starter instead of a staff of competent Energy-efficient Bulbs we’d
like ‘em more. But hey the party’s at Boog’s BBQ when they clinch the East!
For Boog's sake let's pray there's a defibrillator on site!
6. TAMPA BAY RAYS- Alas this club dug too deep a hole for
themselves, but even without David Price they are still solid. A staff of
Cobb/Archer/Odorizzi/Smyly and a returning Mike Moore should keep them in the
thick of things next year. But since they’re unlikely to add anyone significant
what they do with Ben Zobrist’s option, how Wil Myer’s returns and the
emergence or lack thereof of prospects like Tim Beckham, Enny Romero, Alex
Colome and Hak-Ju Lee (gesundheit!) will determine their fate. Hats off to Joe
Maddon, MLBs version of Sisyphus.
7. SEATTLE MARINERS-I don’t think Robinson Cano is married,
but now he knows what it’s like to be divorced! By moving from NY to Seattle
there’s no more questioning his intensity, demanding he run out every
groundball, worries about his leadership, asking if his friends are more
important than they are…er…OK, maybe not that last one, but you get the point.
His BA is up slightly, his SLG% is down due to Park Factors, but his OBA hovers
around the exalted .400 mark. The latter is due in part to this lineup being
mostly Cano & Seager & a Whole Lotta Meager. Adding Austin Jackson was
nice in that it gives the negative-valued Endy Chavez more bench time and Mike
Zunino has been a pleasant surprise behind the dish. That said the usually
productive spots of DH/1B have been a black hole of Kendry Morales, Logan Morrison,
Corey Hart and Justin Smoak who have combined for a -3.0 WAR (yes, they’ve lost
3 games in the standings just by trotting them out there). On the other hand
there’s always King Felix every 5th day and backed up by Hisashi
Iwakuma and the surprising Chris Young it’s been enough to keep them in the WC
hunt. If prospect Taijuan Walker weren’t getting spanked around at AAA (5.46
FIP) we might feel better about this club. As it is we think they’ll just miss
out to whoever finishes 2nd in the Central.
8. TORONTO BLUE JAYS- The Jays are like the Angels chunky little
sister. There’s not anything wrong with them per se, it’s just that they can’t
match up to the immediate competition. So while the Angels were able to throw
money around and protect their Farm System the Jays were forced to “try harder”
and trade away their prospects to accelerate the process of contention. Thus
while the Angels wound up with Pujols/Hamilton/Wilson with a Trout/Richards
kicker, the Jays answered with Reyes/Dickey/Buehrle and a Munenori Kawasaki
kicker. Mix Mark Buehrle’s predictable 2nd half slide with injuries
to Encarnacion/Lind/Lawrie and it’s been a struggle with little help to patch
the holes. On the bright side young RHPs Marcus Stroman and Drew Hutchison look
legit so if the lineup stays together 2015 could be another good year in
Hockeyville.
9. NEW YORK YANKEES- If we learned one thing from the movie The 40 Year Old Virgin it’s that you “gotta
use your peripherals!” In analytic terms that means looking past the standard
numbers to the true talent of a pitcher while siphoning out as much luck, good
or bad, as possible. Yankees GM Brian Cashman spotted Brandon McCarthy near the
trade deadline and did just that. In Arizona McCarthy was 3-10 with a 5.01 ERA,
but his K/BB was a solid 7.41/1.64, his FIP was 3.81 and he was being done in
by an unsightly 1 HR Allowed per every 5 Flyballs. Since switching to
pinstripes B-Mac (I’m assuming) is 4-1 with a 2.21 ERA. Nice move by the
Yankees, but they’ll still be sitting home in October.
10. CLEVELAND INDIANS- In 2012 then closer Chris Perez
chastised Indians fans for not coming out in bigger numbers after a good early
run for the Tribe. As it turned out
Cleveland lost 94 games that year proving that Wahoo fans are smart and Chris
Perez should have spent less time on Twitter and more in finding out what his
wife was putting into those funny smelling FEDEX packages. Since their last big
run in 2007 Clevelanders have seen the same show from ownership. Spend just
enough to be mildly competitive then close the purse strings and complain no
one shows up. This year the Tribe came up with two bonafide studs in Corey
Kluber and Michael Brantley. That pair plus Kipnis/Santana/Gomes/Chisenhall
will keep the team at least break even, will ownership do what is necessary to
really compete? Might be best to light up another Mrs. Perez Fatty and not
think about it too much Northern Ohioans.
Well there's always Basketball season...
PLAYOFFS: Angels over Royals (WC Game), A’s over Tigers,
Angels over O’s, A’s over Angels…World Series? Hey haven’t I done enough
already…Nats/A’s…you decide.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Notes From No Fixed Address (MLB Mid-June Report)
--Due to a power outage two weeks ago at our school we must go an extra half day tomorrow with attendance expected at around 25% which in turn repeatedly prompted this conversation today:
STUDENT: Guess what?
ME: You have an end of the year gift for me?
STUDENT: No, but I'm not coming to school tomorrow.
ME: That's the greatest gift of all...
Now that school's out I can spend more time on my own non-censored home computer...a scenario in which I believe everybody wins...
--In other work related news I was on my way to an interview Thursday when I realized I could not be bitter and/or sarcastic which, quite frankly, is tying my hands right there. Or as an ex-girlfriend once noted, "if it wasn't for bitterness and sarcasm you'd have no personality at all." All things considered...probably didn't get it.
--Now I see it. That's the actress who played Sue Ellen Mischke, the Bra-Less Heir to the O. Henry Candybar fortune, on Seinfeld in the ad for the new Dallas on TNT. So thank you IMDB for saving me from having to watch that steaming pile of garbage.
In 1995 we loved actress Betty Strong and her free-wheeling, Devil may care attitude...17 years later hopefully she's thrown a blouse on...
--On June 1 Mets manager Terry Collins was on the horns of a dilemma after Johan Santana had successfully completed 7 hitless innings vs. the St. Louis Cardinals. On the one hand Mets history regarding this possibility was akin to how Hawkeye Pierce liked his martinis, "dry, drier, driest...a veritable Dustbowl of no-hitters", but at the same time if the surgically repaired shoulder of Santana was going to complete the feat it would require him to throw enough pitches to make Iron Man Joe McGinnity wince (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_McGinnity). In the end Collins left Santana in, he threw 134 pitches, but got the first no-no in franchise history...So was it all worth it?
I'll say mostly yes and a little no. Yes because loyal Mets fans deserved it. Now I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea of this Mets club as a playoff contender, but in the parity of the NL it's not out of the question. Still it's nice to have some seasonal highlights to hang your hat on if the whole thing does tank lest you wind up with a season-ending video like that of 1979 Mets (63-99) titled "Turning It Over" and featuring shots of every single one of Frank Taveras' and Doug Flynn's league leading double plays (defensive, not offensive). Additionally Santana is not a youngster. He can determine his own breaking point and if he decides he wants to push it, well Hell, he's likely not coming back anyway when he contract expires so the risk is his own.
On the other hand are no-hitters really that big a deal anymore? Kevin Milwood and a cast of several that included such luminaries as Stephen Pryor, Lucas Luetge and the naughtily named Charlie Furbush twirled one on 6/8. Not to mention Phil Humber's back in April. A feat that has produced worse followups than M. Night Shamaylan with Humber going 2-4 with a 6+ ERA since. Additionally 2011 saw hitless hurling from Ervin Santana and Francisco Liriano, 2010 from Ubaldo Jimenez and Dallas Braden, all moundsmen whose careers have turned considerably downward since those efforts. Toss in the fact that the Metropolitans really took one step forward/two steps back as the high pitch count forced Collins to push Johan's next start back in favor of Jeremy Hefner who got his ascot knocked off in a 5-3 loss to the Nats. And even when he did return he admitted to fatigue being the cause for a 5 IP, 6 ER, 4 HR performance against the Yankees.
So in short, no-hitters...I could take 'em or leave 'em, but as a Mets fan I'm happy for Johan Santana's cherry-popper....You always remember your first.
Did we mention Scott Podsednik was signed as a free agent by the Red Sox...well now we did...so this picture of his wife is no longer gratuitous...
--Working at a school I get to see every even moderately special event turned into a Papparazzi fest that would make you think Kim Kardashian was going down on the ghost of Michael Jackson every other day in our Multi-Purpose Room. Or as comedian Jim Gaffigan once put it, "parents today have more photos of their kids than times my father even looked at me."
In other words it's easy these days to make too much out of a small thing, but I do think there is something to be made of Tigers recent 8-4 run coinciding with the return of CF Austin Jackson. Now I'm no huge fan of Jackson who rode an inflated BABIP to an All-Star season in 2010 only to regress by 20-50 points in every triple slash category in 2011, but he is a table-setter scoring 193 runs while stealing 49 bases in those years.
The real benefit of Jackson's return is that it has allowed the benching/scuttling of several Jim Leyland pets. I've always maintained that when you can no longer distinguish the feces from the food you're but a housecoat and pair of ratty slippers away from a spot on Animal Hoarders and by throwing personal favorites like Brandon Inge, Andy Dirks, Clete Thomas, Don Kelly, Ramon Santiago and Ryan Raburn into the outfield mix over the first two months Jimmy L. began to resemble nothing so much as the Crazy Cat Lady from The Simpsons as the Tigers floundered several games below .500.
But surprinsingly the Jackson injury allowed irony to show its face in the Detroiters favor...no, not the Alanis Morrisette fly in your soup ironic which isn't ironic, but simply unfortunate, more like the first person to clone a sheep being a Scotsman kinda ironic http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolly_(sheep ...in that it produced the callup of Quintin Berry (.305 BA, .389 OPS), a player so far down the minor league pecking order that even hardcore MLB Annuals didn't have him on their radars.
Now Inge has been released, Dirks DLed, Thomas traded, Kelly benched and Santaigo/Raburn confined to a 2B platoon that improves the Tigers by halving the number of positions they can drag into the Replacement Level abyss. Of course since I started this rambling dissertation Detroit dropped two of three on the road to Pittsburgh. Still Berry/Jackson have become the top of the order guys needed in front of Fielder and Cabrera while their speed and glovework drastically improves the outfield D and consequently the staff particularly pitch-to-contact guys like Rick Porcello and Doug Fister, as well as, flyball throwers Max Scherzer and Justin Verlander.
Additionally the Motor Citizens have played 45 games vs. +.500 teams vs. only 26 vs. sub-.500 squads, a stark contrast to the near 50/50 split faced by AL Central leaders Chicago and Cleveland. The bullpen is messy, but deep with Benoit, Coke and Dotel all able to take high leverage turns until Jose Valverde gets straightened out (figuratively, not literally), the starters might get a boost if 21 year-old phenom Jacob Turner can followup on his decent 2012 debut (5 IP, 1 ER vs. St.L.) and if a bat can be added at the deadline the White Sox and Indians may be sorry they didn't bury the Tigers when they had the chance.
--News reports indicate that fans at a Wrigley Field performance of "The Wall" by Roger Waters remained unmoved when a small remote control plane crashed into the side of the stage and caught fire apparently thinking it was part of the act. Then again after 104 years of pennant-less futility perhaps they were just "Comfortably Numb".
Finally, a chance for me to get some reading done...
--And finally in the ongoing aftermath of the Roger Clemens acquittal I'm sure you'll hear him blame his plight on everyone from Brian McNamee to George Mitchell to the owners to the media. The one person/group you won't here him excoriate though is the one most responsible for his ordeal, his fellow players.
Clemens wants us to believe he's somehow different than McGwire, Sosa, Bonds, Palmiero and the litany of liars that have been exposed before him. And to disassociate himself from the Canseco's, Caminiti's and Jason Grimsley's who have already revealed the sordid underbelly of the sport during Clemens' prime(s). He wants to stand alone and be judged which seems quite convenient considering he was happy to stand silently together with these same folks when the late 80s Collusion Ruling sent salaries skyrocketing or the MLBPA refused to even discuss drug testing of any kind in their collective bargaining.
That the studly ex-ballplayer and his Barbie Doll wife were able to sway a jury better than a confessed drug dealing, divorcee who falls somewhere between Ratso Rizzo and the guy who played Luther in 48 Hours on the Pauly Shore Scale of Weasliness is hardly a shock.
Hard to believe the same guy also played a character named Luther in The Warriors...what range!
But while it may fool 12 people who, as they say, weren't smart enough to get outta Jury Duty I'm proud to say it's not enough to fool true baseball fans.
Police have often faced the same skepticism of their integrity when the vaunted "Blue Wall of Silence" has been erected to coverup malefeasance and bad cops. The difference is we are willing to forgive these indiscretions since these people, particularly in inner cities, put their lives on the line everyday and for that we accord them some latitude. Clemens and company play a kid's game for 100 times the salary. Their "Wall of Silence" was built of greed and ego and that deserves no latitude at all. In the long run maybe time will make it seem meaningless, but in the short-term here's hoping folks save their sympathy and their HOF votes for the more deserving.
OK, now this one's gratuitous...
--Wow, heavy stuff...where did that come from? Not really sure, but we'll be back by the end of the week with more crap including our update on bat-finding Red Sox starter Aaron Cook and his consecutive K-less inning streak, some Fantasy Football stuff and what the Hell a Corn Dog! Yeah, at this point I don't know either...Comment below...and Good Night!!
STUDENT: Guess what?
ME: You have an end of the year gift for me?
STUDENT: No, but I'm not coming to school tomorrow.
ME: That's the greatest gift of all...
Now that school's out I can spend more time on my own non-censored home computer...a scenario in which I believe everybody wins...--In other work related news I was on my way to an interview Thursday when I realized I could not be bitter and/or sarcastic which, quite frankly, is tying my hands right there. Or as an ex-girlfriend once noted, "if it wasn't for bitterness and sarcasm you'd have no personality at all." All things considered...probably didn't get it.
--Now I see it. That's the actress who played Sue Ellen Mischke, the Bra-Less Heir to the O. Henry Candybar fortune, on Seinfeld in the ad for the new Dallas on TNT. So thank you IMDB for saving me from having to watch that steaming pile of garbage.
In 1995 we loved actress Betty Strong and her free-wheeling, Devil may care attitude...17 years later hopefully she's thrown a blouse on...--On June 1 Mets manager Terry Collins was on the horns of a dilemma after Johan Santana had successfully completed 7 hitless innings vs. the St. Louis Cardinals. On the one hand Mets history regarding this possibility was akin to how Hawkeye Pierce liked his martinis, "dry, drier, driest...a veritable Dustbowl of no-hitters", but at the same time if the surgically repaired shoulder of Santana was going to complete the feat it would require him to throw enough pitches to make Iron Man Joe McGinnity wince (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_McGinnity). In the end Collins left Santana in, he threw 134 pitches, but got the first no-no in franchise history...So was it all worth it?
I'll say mostly yes and a little no. Yes because loyal Mets fans deserved it. Now I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea of this Mets club as a playoff contender, but in the parity of the NL it's not out of the question. Still it's nice to have some seasonal highlights to hang your hat on if the whole thing does tank lest you wind up with a season-ending video like that of 1979 Mets (63-99) titled "Turning It Over" and featuring shots of every single one of Frank Taveras' and Doug Flynn's league leading double plays (defensive, not offensive). Additionally Santana is not a youngster. He can determine his own breaking point and if he decides he wants to push it, well Hell, he's likely not coming back anyway when he contract expires so the risk is his own.
On the other hand are no-hitters really that big a deal anymore? Kevin Milwood and a cast of several that included such luminaries as Stephen Pryor, Lucas Luetge and the naughtily named Charlie Furbush twirled one on 6/8. Not to mention Phil Humber's back in April. A feat that has produced worse followups than M. Night Shamaylan with Humber going 2-4 with a 6+ ERA since. Additionally 2011 saw hitless hurling from Ervin Santana and Francisco Liriano, 2010 from Ubaldo Jimenez and Dallas Braden, all moundsmen whose careers have turned considerably downward since those efforts. Toss in the fact that the Metropolitans really took one step forward/two steps back as the high pitch count forced Collins to push Johan's next start back in favor of Jeremy Hefner who got his ascot knocked off in a 5-3 loss to the Nats. And even when he did return he admitted to fatigue being the cause for a 5 IP, 6 ER, 4 HR performance against the Yankees.
So in short, no-hitters...I could take 'em or leave 'em, but as a Mets fan I'm happy for Johan Santana's cherry-popper....You always remember your first.
Did we mention Scott Podsednik was signed as a free agent by the Red Sox...well now we did...so this picture of his wife is no longer gratuitous...--Working at a school I get to see every even moderately special event turned into a Papparazzi fest that would make you think Kim Kardashian was going down on the ghost of Michael Jackson every other day in our Multi-Purpose Room. Or as comedian Jim Gaffigan once put it, "parents today have more photos of their kids than times my father even looked at me."
In other words it's easy these days to make too much out of a small thing, but I do think there is something to be made of Tigers recent 8-4 run coinciding with the return of CF Austin Jackson. Now I'm no huge fan of Jackson who rode an inflated BABIP to an All-Star season in 2010 only to regress by 20-50 points in every triple slash category in 2011, but he is a table-setter scoring 193 runs while stealing 49 bases in those years.
The real benefit of Jackson's return is that it has allowed the benching/scuttling of several Jim Leyland pets. I've always maintained that when you can no longer distinguish the feces from the food you're but a housecoat and pair of ratty slippers away from a spot on Animal Hoarders and by throwing personal favorites like Brandon Inge, Andy Dirks, Clete Thomas, Don Kelly, Ramon Santiago and Ryan Raburn into the outfield mix over the first two months Jimmy L. began to resemble nothing so much as the Crazy Cat Lady from The Simpsons as the Tigers floundered several games below .500.
But surprinsingly the Jackson injury allowed irony to show its face in the Detroiters favor...no, not the Alanis Morrisette fly in your soup ironic which isn't ironic, but simply unfortunate, more like the first person to clone a sheep being a Scotsman kinda ironic http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolly_(sheep ...in that it produced the callup of Quintin Berry (.305 BA, .389 OPS), a player so far down the minor league pecking order that even hardcore MLB Annuals didn't have him on their radars.
Now Inge has been released, Dirks DLed, Thomas traded, Kelly benched and Santaigo/Raburn confined to a 2B platoon that improves the Tigers by halving the number of positions they can drag into the Replacement Level abyss. Of course since I started this rambling dissertation Detroit dropped two of three on the road to Pittsburgh. Still Berry/Jackson have become the top of the order guys needed in front of Fielder and Cabrera while their speed and glovework drastically improves the outfield D and consequently the staff particularly pitch-to-contact guys like Rick Porcello and Doug Fister, as well as, flyball throwers Max Scherzer and Justin Verlander.
Additionally the Motor Citizens have played 45 games vs. +.500 teams vs. only 26 vs. sub-.500 squads, a stark contrast to the near 50/50 split faced by AL Central leaders Chicago and Cleveland. The bullpen is messy, but deep with Benoit, Coke and Dotel all able to take high leverage turns until Jose Valverde gets straightened out (figuratively, not literally), the starters might get a boost if 21 year-old phenom Jacob Turner can followup on his decent 2012 debut (5 IP, 1 ER vs. St.L.) and if a bat can be added at the deadline the White Sox and Indians may be sorry they didn't bury the Tigers when they had the chance.
--News reports indicate that fans at a Wrigley Field performance of "The Wall" by Roger Waters remained unmoved when a small remote control plane crashed into the side of the stage and caught fire apparently thinking it was part of the act. Then again after 104 years of pennant-less futility perhaps they were just "Comfortably Numb".
Finally, a chance for me to get some reading done...--And finally in the ongoing aftermath of the Roger Clemens acquittal I'm sure you'll hear him blame his plight on everyone from Brian McNamee to George Mitchell to the owners to the media. The one person/group you won't here him excoriate though is the one most responsible for his ordeal, his fellow players.
Clemens wants us to believe he's somehow different than McGwire, Sosa, Bonds, Palmiero and the litany of liars that have been exposed before him. And to disassociate himself from the Canseco's, Caminiti's and Jason Grimsley's who have already revealed the sordid underbelly of the sport during Clemens' prime(s). He wants to stand alone and be judged which seems quite convenient considering he was happy to stand silently together with these same folks when the late 80s Collusion Ruling sent salaries skyrocketing or the MLBPA refused to even discuss drug testing of any kind in their collective bargaining.
That the studly ex-ballplayer and his Barbie Doll wife were able to sway a jury better than a confessed drug dealing, divorcee who falls somewhere between Ratso Rizzo and the guy who played Luther in 48 Hours on the Pauly Shore Scale of Weasliness is hardly a shock.
Hard to believe the same guy also played a character named Luther in The Warriors...what range!But while it may fool 12 people who, as they say, weren't smart enough to get outta Jury Duty I'm proud to say it's not enough to fool true baseball fans.
Police have often faced the same skepticism of their integrity when the vaunted "Blue Wall of Silence" has been erected to coverup malefeasance and bad cops. The difference is we are willing to forgive these indiscretions since these people, particularly in inner cities, put their lives on the line everyday and for that we accord them some latitude. Clemens and company play a kid's game for 100 times the salary. Their "Wall of Silence" was built of greed and ego and that deserves no latitude at all. In the long run maybe time will make it seem meaningless, but in the short-term here's hoping folks save their sympathy and their HOF votes for the more deserving.
OK, now this one's gratuitous...--Wow, heavy stuff...where did that come from? Not really sure, but we'll be back by the end of the week with more crap including our update on bat-finding Red Sox starter Aaron Cook and his consecutive K-less inning streak, some Fantasy Football stuff and what the Hell a Corn Dog! Yeah, at this point I don't know either...Comment below...and Good Night!!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Why I'm Not Speaking To Richard Dawson & More Tales From The Drunk Side
--First let's start out by paying our respects after a tough week in the music biz that saw the passing of Dick Clark, Levon Helm and Greg Ham, better known as the flautist for Men At Work...and that's the last time I expect to type the word "flautist" here until Ian Anderson passes which probably won't be for a long time as while he may be "too old to Rock-n-Roll, he's much too young to die."...And yes that's about the level of the humor here so you may wanna get out now.
The Band. RIP Richard Manuel, Levon Helm and Rick Danko.
--Meanwhile in Hollywood word is former Will & Grace star Debra Messing will be appearing topless in Allure Magazine...which reminds me my 12 year-old nephew is having a pool party next weekend. Actually it's not fair to call Messing flat-chested...she's really more concave. So even as a big fan of the topless genre, like a Debra Messing-shaped rock this pictorial is gonna be easy to skip.
Where "motorboats" go to die...Is there an antonym for cleavage?
--In other news from California Former Met/Phillie/Stock Guru Lenny Dykstra was sentenced to 9 months incarceration in a place where they have a very different definition of the term "backdoor slider" for taking liberties with various maids in his employ. Nails pleaded No Contest and threw himself at the mercy of the judge like he was George Costanza being fired from Pendant Publishing..."I gotta claim ignorance on this one. If I had known this type of thing was frowned upon..." For more on this ever-growing pile of human refuse see our article "The Dumbest Guy In The Room" @ http://bowltilithurts.blogspot.com/2011/05/dumbest-guy-in-room.html
Someone sent this via E-mail and that's why I love you mugs...you're the only ones that "get" me...
--And while we're talking about guys having bad weeks here's Detroit starter Rick Porcello's line from Saturday: 10 H, 9 R, 8 ER...in 1 IP! I haven't seen anyone devastated by runs that quickly this side of Taco Bell or a cholera epidemic. His ERA went from 1.86 to 6.34 with this one outing in what has to be the biggest slaughter while "taking the hill" since Pickett's Charge. Better, or any, luck next time, guy.
--Almost forgot to post this pic of Tampa Bay RF Luke Scott who appears to be channeling his inner-Wolverine this season
Usually one doesn't see mutton chops like this outside a Renaissance Faire or since Russians were trying to get around Peter The Great's Beard Tax circa 1700. Don't know if it helps his hitting, but I do know he's got a lotta cleaning up to do if he wants to be "sponge-worthy"...
as this guy can attest.
--A coupla weeks back we promised Mets, so here it is...
--There's an apocryphal story about a middle age guy complaining about having to get up at night to pee only to have an 80 year-old overhear and respond, "hey, at least you get up..." That's kinda the difference between being the Mets versus say the Royals or Pirates. You see the Royals and Pirates, despite the hype for the former and the remarkable 2011 first half of the latter, have no hope or at least very little by dint of their payroll. For them to win on a consistent basis they not only have to develop virtually all their top talent, but do so on a time coordinated basis so that arbitration and free-agent eligibility doesn't impact their ability to sign veteran parts to fill out their roster or result in some young talent leaving before other has the chance to develop. Sure the Rays are doing it now and Oakland had their "Moneyball" run, but these are the exceptions and as the A's present struggles indicate can be short-lived.
The Mets, on the other hand, have money, even post-Madoff, and last year checked in with the 5th highest payroll in baseball at over $142M spent. As we mentioned in our NL East Preview they also have a fairly shrewd GM in Sandy Alderson now after a run of shaky management under Omar Minaya and everyone's favorite silver-haired chubby chaser Steve Phillips. Rather than try to plug the holes in this long sinking ship Alderson decided to let it capsize and build from scratch. To this end he jettisoned $59M in salary at the end of 2011 by either trading or not re-signing the Spanish Armada of Under-achievement known as Carlos Beltran, Ollie Perez, K-Rod, Hamstring Jose Reyes and Luis Castillo. At the end of 2013 another $41M goes away courtesy of Johan Santana and Jason Bay and thus the target date to contend again is 2014. But with whom is the question...
So who might still be Amazin' if/when the tide turns in Flushing? Let's break this down on a mediocrity by mediocrity basis:
C Josh Thole: The baseball version of Pink Slime. JT is roster filler with no pop, no glove and who never saw a Lefty he couldn't dribble out weakly to second off. Still catcher is a need position throughout the MLB and Thole could hang around as a backup due to his ability to exceed replacement level vs. RHP. Hell if guys like Paul Bako and Brian Schneider can carve out careers why not Thole. Verdict...Gone/Backup.
1B Ike Davis: Most projection systems out there had this 25 year-old pegged for a breakout year until he contracted an offseason case of Valley Fever which is, I believe, a blood disease that causes you to have the hots for Wayne Gretzky's wife. He missed time in the Spring and started off slow, but his bat has picked up of late. He'll be coming into his prime 27 year-old season in 2014 when the Mets hope to contend and his legit power for the position will allow them to allocate big bucks elsewhere...Keeper.
2B Daniel Murphy: Think Super Joe McEwing, but with a bat. Not exactly a Leatherneck at any position, but he can cover all 4 corners plus second and not completely undermine your plans. He could start for a bottom feeder or be a Uber-Utility type for a contender. Since he wouldn't bring much back in a trade the call is probably his...Backup/Gone.
SS Ruben Tejada: This guy has Padres written all over him...or Mariners. Anyplace where the park would suppress most shortstops power anyway thereby making his complete lack of same inconsequential. Doesn't field, run or draw walks to such a degree that you have to take notice. Mets fans should hope he gets hot for a stretch so they can ship him elsewhere for a usable relief piece...Gone.
3B David Wright: In recent years Wright's numbers have been up and down more than those guys in the Flomax commercial. He rebounded from a 10 HR 2009 with 29 dingers and .850+ OPS in 2010, but any hope for a career take-off fell by the wayside as he battled a long-term injury that limited him to 447 PAs in 2011. Off to a solid start this year the question is whether he's a cornerstone or trade chip? Oddly the better Wright plays the more likely he is to be gone. With an extra playoff team and some wide-open races any number of teams from the Dodgers to the Rockies to the Blue Jays to the Angels could come offering prospects and the better Wright's numbers the more MLB-ready those players will be. That means Wright would have to get through two July 31sts and offseasons to be part of the expected turnaround. As the Metskis only real blue-chip bait we don't see that happenin'...Gone.
Recent rumors of a David Wright/Erin Andrews (ESPN) sex tape proved to be a hoax. I was gonna put a pic of Erin Andrews here, but she's always wearing so many clothes. This girl is also named Erin Andrews and doesn't appear to have the same problem. Enjoy!
LF Jason Bay: No one's gone off a cliff like this since the closing scene of Thelma & Louise. If you don't think Park Factor matters check out this guy's numbers from his last year in Fenway compared to his first two at Citi Field. He went from a .921 OPS in 2009 to .703 last year and it hasn't even been that pretty as his fielding has gone in the tank as well. Oh and did we mention he's off to .240 BA start, on pace to strike out 170 times (500 ABs), is currently on the DL and turns 34 before the season's out...GONE!
CF Angel Torres/Kirk Nieuwenheis: This is a position where the Mets might really throw some money around in the coming offseasons. Torres is injured and already 34...Gone. This has allowed Nieuwenheis to goose step into Center, but his speed and defense indicate he's headed for a corner. His 2010 breakout at Double A was followed by similiar, albeit injury truncated, success at Triple A last year so getting him some major league exposure at 24 is a good thing. He's currently sporting a .928 OPS in a Lilliputian sample size, but at least he hasn't been overwhelmed...Keeper.
RF Lucas Duda: He's stiffer than Mitt Romney at Coachella in the field and if he raced Jessica Simpson right now he'd finish third, still the guy can flat-out hit. If this were the AL there'd be no problem. Fortunately he hits from the platoon heavy left side and shows terrific power numbers versus RHP so while he may not be a starter for an improved Mets team he could carve out a place as a solid 1B/LF/RF swing guy...Keeper.
SP Johan Santana: Currently Santana is unmoveable because of his contract and questions surrounding his health. Early results have been mixed as he pitched well in two 5 inning starts against the Chipper-less Braves and (so far) lumber challenged Nats. Then his last outing he couldn't make it out of the second as the Chipper-filled Braves "nocohoma-ed" him for 6 runs in one and one third. He's coming off major shoulder surgery and well on the unfriendly side of 30 and though he won the pitching Triple Crown (K, Wins, ERA) in 2006 the Mets can't wait to get him off their payroll...and maybe get Phil Humber back as well...Gone.
SP Mike Pelfrey: For a stone-cold sinkerballer this guy gets taken deep more often than Jodie Foster in The Accused. Problem is he never developed another quality offering meaning he gets few strikeouts and hitters are content to wait out his mistakes. He's still only 28 and that may explain why the Mets didn't move him after his 15 win 2010. Their reward was a 7-13, 4.74 ERA 2011. Like cat genitalia the upside here is hard to find...Gone.
SP Jonathan Niese: The current incarnation of the Amazin's features less stars than the night sky over Mexico City and Niese is almost certain to never escape from the smog. That, however, doesn't make him worthless. Joe Theismann once said of a 6th round pick on ESPN's Draft Day Special, "hey, you need bodies to fill out mini-camps and things" and while Niese is far more functional than that he's probably no more than a back-end starter/swingman on a true contender. That's still important, but not important enough that he couldn't be packaged in a blockbuster deal without batting an eye. We'll call him a...Keeper?
SP Dillon Gee: Whiz, he's...Gone.
SP R.A. Dickey: If the Mets do rise from the ashes to contention Dickey and his fluttering balls could be their version of Tim Wakefield circa 2004-07. For a knuckleballer he's remarably consistent, eating innings and keeping the ball in the park at a reasonable rate. Hey, worse things could happen...like Victor Zambrano or Mister Koo...Keeper.
Closer/Pen Almost All Gone Bullpens are constantly changing these days so Alderson will probably try to mix and match with homegrown talent like Jennry Mejia and Robert Carson interspersed with free agents and waiver claims...oh and Miguel Batista probably won't be around either.
Honestly I have no idea what's going on here, but God bless..
We're done. Next time we'll have a look at early under-achievers Boston and Anaheim, as well as, some stuff about Stephen Strasburg and maybe the Brian Wilson crap we didn't have space for this time around. Until then we'll be drinkin' to keep from cryin'...
The Band. RIP Richard Manuel, Levon Helm and Rick Danko. --Meanwhile in Hollywood word is former Will & Grace star Debra Messing will be appearing topless in Allure Magazine...which reminds me my 12 year-old nephew is having a pool party next weekend. Actually it's not fair to call Messing flat-chested...she's really more concave. So even as a big fan of the topless genre, like a Debra Messing-shaped rock this pictorial is gonna be easy to skip.
Where "motorboats" go to die...Is there an antonym for cleavage?--In other news from California Former Met/Phillie/Stock Guru Lenny Dykstra was sentenced to 9 months incarceration in a place where they have a very different definition of the term "backdoor slider" for taking liberties with various maids in his employ. Nails pleaded No Contest and threw himself at the mercy of the judge like he was George Costanza being fired from Pendant Publishing..."I gotta claim ignorance on this one. If I had known this type of thing was frowned upon..." For more on this ever-growing pile of human refuse see our article "The Dumbest Guy In The Room" @ http://bowltilithurts.blogspot.com/2011/05/dumbest-guy-in-room.html
Someone sent this via E-mail and that's why I love you mugs...you're the only ones that "get" me...--And while we're talking about guys having bad weeks here's Detroit starter Rick Porcello's line from Saturday: 10 H, 9 R, 8 ER...in 1 IP! I haven't seen anyone devastated by runs that quickly this side of Taco Bell or a cholera epidemic. His ERA went from 1.86 to 6.34 with this one outing in what has to be the biggest slaughter while "taking the hill" since Pickett's Charge. Better, or any, luck next time, guy.
--Almost forgot to post this pic of Tampa Bay RF Luke Scott who appears to be channeling his inner-Wolverine this season
Usually one doesn't see mutton chops like this outside a Renaissance Faire or since Russians were trying to get around Peter The Great's Beard Tax circa 1700. Don't know if it helps his hitting, but I do know he's got a lotta cleaning up to do if he wants to be "sponge-worthy"...as this guy can attest.--A coupla weeks back we promised Mets, so here it is...
--There's an apocryphal story about a middle age guy complaining about having to get up at night to pee only to have an 80 year-old overhear and respond, "hey, at least you get up..." That's kinda the difference between being the Mets versus say the Royals or Pirates. You see the Royals and Pirates, despite the hype for the former and the remarkable 2011 first half of the latter, have no hope or at least very little by dint of their payroll. For them to win on a consistent basis they not only have to develop virtually all their top talent, but do so on a time coordinated basis so that arbitration and free-agent eligibility doesn't impact their ability to sign veteran parts to fill out their roster or result in some young talent leaving before other has the chance to develop. Sure the Rays are doing it now and Oakland had their "Moneyball" run, but these are the exceptions and as the A's present struggles indicate can be short-lived.
The Mets, on the other hand, have money, even post-Madoff, and last year checked in with the 5th highest payroll in baseball at over $142M spent. As we mentioned in our NL East Preview they also have a fairly shrewd GM in Sandy Alderson now after a run of shaky management under Omar Minaya and everyone's favorite silver-haired chubby chaser Steve Phillips. Rather than try to plug the holes in this long sinking ship Alderson decided to let it capsize and build from scratch. To this end he jettisoned $59M in salary at the end of 2011 by either trading or not re-signing the Spanish Armada of Under-achievement known as Carlos Beltran, Ollie Perez, K-Rod, Hamstring Jose Reyes and Luis Castillo. At the end of 2013 another $41M goes away courtesy of Johan Santana and Jason Bay and thus the target date to contend again is 2014. But with whom is the question...
So who might still be Amazin' if/when the tide turns in Flushing? Let's break this down on a mediocrity by mediocrity basis:
C Josh Thole: The baseball version of Pink Slime. JT is roster filler with no pop, no glove and who never saw a Lefty he couldn't dribble out weakly to second off. Still catcher is a need position throughout the MLB and Thole could hang around as a backup due to his ability to exceed replacement level vs. RHP. Hell if guys like Paul Bako and Brian Schneider can carve out careers why not Thole. Verdict...Gone/Backup.
1B Ike Davis: Most projection systems out there had this 25 year-old pegged for a breakout year until he contracted an offseason case of Valley Fever which is, I believe, a blood disease that causes you to have the hots for Wayne Gretzky's wife. He missed time in the Spring and started off slow, but his bat has picked up of late. He'll be coming into his prime 27 year-old season in 2014 when the Mets hope to contend and his legit power for the position will allow them to allocate big bucks elsewhere...Keeper.
2B Daniel Murphy: Think Super Joe McEwing, but with a bat. Not exactly a Leatherneck at any position, but he can cover all 4 corners plus second and not completely undermine your plans. He could start for a bottom feeder or be a Uber-Utility type for a contender. Since he wouldn't bring much back in a trade the call is probably his...Backup/Gone.
SS Ruben Tejada: This guy has Padres written all over him...or Mariners. Anyplace where the park would suppress most shortstops power anyway thereby making his complete lack of same inconsequential. Doesn't field, run or draw walks to such a degree that you have to take notice. Mets fans should hope he gets hot for a stretch so they can ship him elsewhere for a usable relief piece...Gone.
3B David Wright: In recent years Wright's numbers have been up and down more than those guys in the Flomax commercial. He rebounded from a 10 HR 2009 with 29 dingers and .850+ OPS in 2010, but any hope for a career take-off fell by the wayside as he battled a long-term injury that limited him to 447 PAs in 2011. Off to a solid start this year the question is whether he's a cornerstone or trade chip? Oddly the better Wright plays the more likely he is to be gone. With an extra playoff team and some wide-open races any number of teams from the Dodgers to the Rockies to the Blue Jays to the Angels could come offering prospects and the better Wright's numbers the more MLB-ready those players will be. That means Wright would have to get through two July 31sts and offseasons to be part of the expected turnaround. As the Metskis only real blue-chip bait we don't see that happenin'...Gone.
Recent rumors of a David Wright/Erin Andrews (ESPN) sex tape proved to be a hoax. I was gonna put a pic of Erin Andrews here, but she's always wearing so many clothes. This girl is also named Erin Andrews and doesn't appear to have the same problem. Enjoy!LF Jason Bay: No one's gone off a cliff like this since the closing scene of Thelma & Louise. If you don't think Park Factor matters check out this guy's numbers from his last year in Fenway compared to his first two at Citi Field. He went from a .921 OPS in 2009 to .703 last year and it hasn't even been that pretty as his fielding has gone in the tank as well. Oh and did we mention he's off to .240 BA start, on pace to strike out 170 times (500 ABs), is currently on the DL and turns 34 before the season's out...GONE!
CF Angel Torres/Kirk Nieuwenheis: This is a position where the Mets might really throw some money around in the coming offseasons. Torres is injured and already 34...Gone. This has allowed Nieuwenheis to goose step into Center, but his speed and defense indicate he's headed for a corner. His 2010 breakout at Double A was followed by similiar, albeit injury truncated, success at Triple A last year so getting him some major league exposure at 24 is a good thing. He's currently sporting a .928 OPS in a Lilliputian sample size, but at least he hasn't been overwhelmed...Keeper.
RF Lucas Duda: He's stiffer than Mitt Romney at Coachella in the field and if he raced Jessica Simpson right now he'd finish third, still the guy can flat-out hit. If this were the AL there'd be no problem. Fortunately he hits from the platoon heavy left side and shows terrific power numbers versus RHP so while he may not be a starter for an improved Mets team he could carve out a place as a solid 1B/LF/RF swing guy...Keeper.
SP Johan Santana: Currently Santana is unmoveable because of his contract and questions surrounding his health. Early results have been mixed as he pitched well in two 5 inning starts against the Chipper-less Braves and (so far) lumber challenged Nats. Then his last outing he couldn't make it out of the second as the Chipper-filled Braves "nocohoma-ed" him for 6 runs in one and one third. He's coming off major shoulder surgery and well on the unfriendly side of 30 and though he won the pitching Triple Crown (K, Wins, ERA) in 2006 the Mets can't wait to get him off their payroll...and maybe get Phil Humber back as well...Gone.
SP Mike Pelfrey: For a stone-cold sinkerballer this guy gets taken deep more often than Jodie Foster in The Accused. Problem is he never developed another quality offering meaning he gets few strikeouts and hitters are content to wait out his mistakes. He's still only 28 and that may explain why the Mets didn't move him after his 15 win 2010. Their reward was a 7-13, 4.74 ERA 2011. Like cat genitalia the upside here is hard to find...Gone.
SP Jonathan Niese: The current incarnation of the Amazin's features less stars than the night sky over Mexico City and Niese is almost certain to never escape from the smog. That, however, doesn't make him worthless. Joe Theismann once said of a 6th round pick on ESPN's Draft Day Special, "hey, you need bodies to fill out mini-camps and things" and while Niese is far more functional than that he's probably no more than a back-end starter/swingman on a true contender. That's still important, but not important enough that he couldn't be packaged in a blockbuster deal without batting an eye. We'll call him a...Keeper?
SP Dillon Gee: Whiz, he's...Gone.
SP R.A. Dickey: If the Mets do rise from the ashes to contention Dickey and his fluttering balls could be their version of Tim Wakefield circa 2004-07. For a knuckleballer he's remarably consistent, eating innings and keeping the ball in the park at a reasonable rate. Hey, worse things could happen...like Victor Zambrano or Mister Koo...Keeper.
Closer/Pen Almost All Gone Bullpens are constantly changing these days so Alderson will probably try to mix and match with homegrown talent like Jennry Mejia and Robert Carson interspersed with free agents and waiver claims...oh and Miguel Batista probably won't be around either.
Honestly I have no idea what's going on here, but God bless..
We're done. Next time we'll have a look at early under-achievers Boston and Anaheim, as well as, some stuff about Stephen Strasburg and maybe the Brian Wilson crap we didn't have space for this time around. Until then we'll be drinkin' to keep from cryin'...
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