Is it just me or does this whole Ice Bucket Challenge thing
sound like a nipple fetishist using people’s charitable nature to see girl’s in
wet t-shirts?
In other news I know what with work, vacations,
back-to-school shopping you are busy
people so as we did for the National League we have wrapped up the AL in a
nice, neat package for you…and I gotta tell you, much like George Costanza’s
imaginary addition on The Guggenheim, it really didn’t take that long…Enjoy!
AMERICAN LEAGUE (in
power ranking order, playoffs below)
1. OAKLAND A’S- Without arguing specific examples on the
whole a pitcher moving from the NL to the AL is kinda like the difference
between picking up co-eds at the University of Vermont vs. the University of
Texas. At the former the talent isn’t overwhelming and you can get by being
quirky and cute; at the latter every chick can rake, so to speak, and you
better bring the looks and a trust fund if you wanna make the cut. So when
Oakland acquired Samardzjia and Hammel from the Cubs that was a solid move.
When they acquired Jon Lester from Boston, however, they got a killer! He’s
already 3-0 with a 1.98 FIP in 3 starts for them and he has 2 excellent playoff
runs on his resume. The return of Josh Reddick has shored up the lineup and Josh
Donaldson seems to be picking up the pace in August. Toss in the emergence of
Sean Doolittle (12.65 K/9) as closer and some nice platoon pieces (Gomes, Jaso,
Callaspo, Vogt) to balance the lineup and we believe they’ll hold off the
Angels in the West.
2. DETROIT TIGERS- As the old LHP (loch-handed poet) Robert
Burns wrote, “The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men/Gang aft a-gley” which I
believe is Scottish for “I burned the fuckin’ scones again!” The additions of
David Price and Joakim Soria were supposed to make this staff unbeatable and
rectify the bullpen respectively. Now Soria’s on the DL along with Anibal
Sanchez, Justin Verlander has “multiple incidences of inflammation” in his
shoulder and closer Joe Nathan is thinking of growing a Joba-esque beard so he
can flip off fans with that under-the-chin gesture without drawing notice from
the press. Where there’s Scherzer and Miggy there’s enough to get by, but if
they don’t pull their scones out of the fire, in a manner of speaking, soon it
will all be for waste.
Joey Nat keepin' it classy!
3. LA/ANAHEIM ANGELS- I worked with a beautiful blonde who
would break up with a different guy every coupla months causing women in the
break room to lament her luckless plight. Today, of course, she’s married with
two kids in a McMansion and I’m, well, here…showing the difference between
being a beautiful blonde and a snarky, shut-in. The Angels are like the
beautiful blonde of MLB. They signed Pujols and he wasn’t their savior. They
picked up C.J. Wilson, but the staff still floundered. They signed Josh
Hamilton and he faltered out of the box. Meanwhile they just kept getting asked
out until Prince Charming in the forms of Mike Trout and Garrett Richards made
things right. The bats are, overall, tops in the AL, but the pitching shows
cracks. Wilson has struggled in 3 starts back from the DL, Jered Weaver’s
ERA/FIP/HR% have been rising and his WAR dropping every year since 2011, Tyler
Skaggs has been Tommy John-ed and it seems like a heavy load for Garrett
Richards to carry in his first year as a full-time MLB starter. They did,
however, fix the pen with the addition of Huston Street. If they can win the
division they can get multiple starts per series out of Richards. If they can’t
it may be tough counting on the others to get enough outs to give Mike Trout
and the bats a shot.
4. KC ROYALS- I look at this team like I do Mila Kunis. I’d
never throw the Royals outta bed, but from a distance I’m really not as
impressed with them as some folks. Their recent hot streak has brought out the
bandwagon jumpers, but we’re going to stay true to what we thought back in
April. This is a good team with a top-notch pen, an above average staff and a
lineup that’s a bit too Mike Moustakas-y/Raul Ibanez-y for our taste. It’s not
that they can’t hit. They’re mid-pack in Runs Scored (AL), but they are dead
last in HRs, 14th in SLG% and only 13th in OBA meaning
they have to string together a lot of hits to score. Not always easy against
the top pitching they’ll face in the playoffs.
Danny Duffy benefits from a .229 BABIP, Jason Vargas has been lucky on
HR/FB%, James Shields has a 5.00 ERA in the playoffs, Yordano Ventura’s father
was a hamster and Billy Butler smells of elderberries…alright were just
nit-picking at this point (though I think the last one is true). We like this
club, we do, but more as a WC…we’ll see.
5. BALTIMORE ORIOLES- I feel like if I look up TACITURN in
the dictionary I’ll see a picture of Buck Showalter. Maybe we should just be
happy he’s managing and not boring us to tears on the Baseball Tonight desk. In
the end I sometimes see him as a modern-day Gene Mauch ready to over-analyze a
good thing into disaster. Truthfully, though, that’s not the case. In fact the
Buckster has done a super job keeping this thing churning through injuries to
Machado, Wieters, Jimenez and now Hardy and Machado again. Not to mention
masterfully patient work in piecing together a decent pen and uncovering a
quality closer out of the previously mediocre meanderings of Zach Britton. As
long as Hardy and Machado are OK this team can slug their way deep into the
postseason behind Nelson Cruz, Adam Jones and Chris Davis. If they had one
lights-out starter instead of a staff of competent Energy-efficient Bulbs we’d
like ‘em more. But hey the party’s at Boog’s BBQ when they clinch the East!
For Boog's sake let's pray there's a defibrillator on site!
6. TAMPA BAY RAYS- Alas this club dug too deep a hole for
themselves, but even without David Price they are still solid. A staff of
Cobb/Archer/Odorizzi/Smyly and a returning Mike Moore should keep them in the
thick of things next year. But since they’re unlikely to add anyone significant
what they do with Ben Zobrist’s option, how Wil Myer’s returns and the
emergence or lack thereof of prospects like Tim Beckham, Enny Romero, Alex
Colome and Hak-Ju Lee (gesundheit!) will determine their fate. Hats off to Joe
Maddon, MLBs version of Sisyphus.
7. SEATTLE MARINERS-I don’t think Robinson Cano is married,
but now he knows what it’s like to be divorced! By moving from NY to Seattle
there’s no more questioning his intensity, demanding he run out every
groundball, worries about his leadership, asking if his friends are more
important than they are…er…OK, maybe not that last one, but you get the point.
His BA is up slightly, his SLG% is down due to Park Factors, but his OBA hovers
around the exalted .400 mark. The latter is due in part to this lineup being
mostly Cano & Seager & a Whole Lotta Meager. Adding Austin Jackson was
nice in that it gives the negative-valued Endy Chavez more bench time and Mike
Zunino has been a pleasant surprise behind the dish. That said the usually
productive spots of DH/1B have been a black hole of Kendry Morales, Logan Morrison,
Corey Hart and Justin Smoak who have combined for a -3.0 WAR (yes, they’ve lost
3 games in the standings just by trotting them out there). On the other hand
there’s always King Felix every 5th day and backed up by Hisashi
Iwakuma and the surprising Chris Young it’s been enough to keep them in the WC
hunt. If prospect Taijuan Walker weren’t getting spanked around at AAA (5.46
FIP) we might feel better about this club. As it is we think they’ll just miss
out to whoever finishes 2nd in the Central.
8. TORONTO BLUE JAYS- The Jays are like the Angels chunky little
sister. There’s not anything wrong with them per se, it’s just that they can’t
match up to the immediate competition. So while the Angels were able to throw
money around and protect their Farm System the Jays were forced to “try harder”
and trade away their prospects to accelerate the process of contention. Thus
while the Angels wound up with Pujols/Hamilton/Wilson with a Trout/Richards
kicker, the Jays answered with Reyes/Dickey/Buehrle and a Munenori Kawasaki
kicker. Mix Mark Buehrle’s predictable 2nd half slide with injuries
to Encarnacion/Lind/Lawrie and it’s been a struggle with little help to patch
the holes. On the bright side young RHPs Marcus Stroman and Drew Hutchison look
legit so if the lineup stays together 2015 could be another good year in
Hockeyville.
9. NEW YORK YANKEES- If we learned one thing from the movie The 40 Year Old Virgin it’s that you “gotta
use your peripherals!” In analytic terms that means looking past the standard
numbers to the true talent of a pitcher while siphoning out as much luck, good
or bad, as possible. Yankees GM Brian Cashman spotted Brandon McCarthy near the
trade deadline and did just that. In Arizona McCarthy was 3-10 with a 5.01 ERA,
but his K/BB was a solid 7.41/1.64, his FIP was 3.81 and he was being done in
by an unsightly 1 HR Allowed per every 5 Flyballs. Since switching to
pinstripes B-Mac (I’m assuming) is 4-1 with a 2.21 ERA. Nice move by the
Yankees, but they’ll still be sitting home in October.
10. CLEVELAND INDIANS- In 2012 then closer Chris Perez
chastised Indians fans for not coming out in bigger numbers after a good early
run for the Tribe. As it turned out
Cleveland lost 94 games that year proving that Wahoo fans are smart and Chris
Perez should have spent less time on Twitter and more in finding out what his
wife was putting into those funny smelling FEDEX packages. Since their last big
run in 2007 Clevelanders have seen the same show from ownership. Spend just
enough to be mildly competitive then close the purse strings and complain no
one shows up. This year the Tribe came up with two bonafide studs in Corey
Kluber and Michael Brantley. That pair plus Kipnis/Santana/Gomes/Chisenhall
will keep the team at least break even, will ownership do what is necessary to
really compete? Might be best to light up another Mrs. Perez Fatty and not
think about it too much Northern Ohioans.
Well there's always Basketball season...
PLAYOFFS: Angels over Royals (WC Game), A’s over Tigers,
Angels over O’s, A’s over Angels…World Series? Hey haven’t I done enough
already…Nats/A’s…you decide.
