QUICK
HITS
--The big NFL/Fantasy news is that Browns
WR Josh Gordon had his year-long suspension for a 2nd pot violation
upheld. To which Ravens RB and noted fiancée/wife beater Ray Rice (2 game
suspension) responded, “Now there’s a
bad guy. I’d have to smack my girl around 7 more times to be as thuggish as
that dude!”
--Finally we’ve been remiss in not
acknowledging the death of classic Blues/Rock guitarist Johnny Winter who I
believed passed from exposure after his girlfriend switched to 60 watt light
bulbs…RIP.
Hey at least College Football's back!
1. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES: This division
is more offensive than Don Rickles playing Ellis Island. If there was one
standout defense we’d lean that way, but things seem to go from the average
(Giants) to the absurd (Cowboys) on that side of the ball so we’ll go with the
top O and that appears to be the Iggles by a decent margin.
Offense: STRENGTH- RB/OL…For years now
the Eagles have had a strong offensive foundation in LeSean McCoy in the
backfield and the trio of Evan Mathis, Jason Peters and Todd Herremans up
front. Unfortunately they were held back by Michael Vick’s penchant to give the
ball up like it was samples at Costco. Philly finished 30/31 in turnover ratio
in 2012/2011. A brutal combination combined with a defense that’s been trending
downward for several years. Last year thanks to the insertion of Nick Foles at
the helm the Eagles finished #4 in TO ratio and suddenly they’re back to the
10-6 team they were before. We view Foles’ 27-2 TD/INT numbers like we viewed
David Garrard’s 18-3 stat for Jacksonville in 2007. He ain’t gonna do that
again, but he ain’t gonna tank either (who was my grammar teacher anyhow?).
McCoy and the line plus excellent TEs (Celek, Ertz) should keep this somewhat
gimmicky offense afloat for another year.
Defense: STRENGTH- You could call this Trent Cole and a
bunch of holes, but it’s probably not that bad. DLs Fletcher Cox and Cedric
Thornton are serviceable and if LB DeMeco Ryans can bounce back from a tough
2013 the front 7 can hold its own…
2. WASHINGTON REDSKINS: ...by a hair
over the Giants and, yes, unlike Phil Simms I am saying (er, writing) that
name…though I think this may be the first fight Native Americans win since
Little Bighorn.
Offense: STRENGTH- Who’d have thought a
team with this name would have such issues over a Wounded Knee…at least outside
of South Dakota I mean. But that is the real issue here. In 2012 Robert Griffin
had a 20-5 ratio and 7 rushing TDs. Then every fantasy owners arch enemy Mike
Shanahan pushed him into that playoff game on a gimpy leg and it all went south
with a 16-12 ratio and zero rush TDs last year. RG-Tri still posted an 82.2 QB
Rate last year so it wasn’t a total debacle. If he can fall somewhere in
between his first two seasons then along with RB Alfred Morris and TE Jordan
Reed the ‘Skins have a nice young nucleus to build around. Reports from the
preseason are decidedly mixed so we’ll see.
Speaking of Wounded Knee: Free Leonard Peltier...no, seriously, they didn't charge to use this picture...It's free Leonard Peltier...
WEAKNESS- Offensive
Line…the scary part is that LT Trent Williams actually over-achieved in a 3-13
season so things could be worse up front. Losing standout C Will Montgomery is
a big blow, but 4 of the 5 here were starters for the 2012 club that finished
#4 in Total Offense so hope is alive.
Defense: STRENGTH- Brian Orakpo is the
One-Man Riot Squad (quick, name that classic wrestler?) on this side of the
ball, but this year gets help in the form of ex-Cowboy Jason Hatcher. The
latter is a stud if healthy and looks good so far in preseason. Improving on
last year’s 487 pts allowed won’t be difficult. How much they can improve will
determine if this club has playoff legs.
WEAKNESS- Last
year the DBs got toasted like Snoop Dogg on a Jamaican vacation…early and
often! Deangelo Hall and Dave Amerson struggled at CB and while the latter may
improve in his 2nd year the former may be finished. FS Ryan Clark is
a keeper, but the rest better hope Orakpo/Hatcher create pressure or they may
wind up buttered and sliced vs. the better passing attacks.
NEW YORK GIANTS: I have these guys a
lambs breath behind Washington and their fortunes pretty much depend on the
same thing…QB and Defense. Since winning the Super Bowl the Gi’nts have gone a
playoff-less 16-16, but a revamped offense and a healthy Jason Pierre-Paul are
what they are counting on to boost them into January football this year.
Offense: STRENGTH- They say if you slip
and fall and people laugh it’s a sign you’re still young. If you slip and fall
and people immediately call for an ambulance that’s a sign you’re old. Eli
Manning took quite a nasty tumble last year and while 33 isn’t old when you
consider his brother Peyton we do feel some folks have their fingers on the 9
in 911 as regards the former Ole Miss Rebel. After 18 TDs vs. 27 INTs and a
69.4 QB Rate OC Kevin Gilbride was shown the door and former Green Bay
assistant Ben McAdoo is in. He brings with him a short passing game approach
and that’s good because…
WEAKNESS-
Offensive Line…LT Will Beatty is off his worst year as a pro, RG Chris Snee
retired, new addition John Jerry was let go from the Bully-Gate thin line of
the Dolphins and quality pickup LG Geoff Schwartz (toe) may have to start the season on IR. I haven’t
seen things this bad in the trenches since my Lit. 101 Professor assigned All
Quiet on the Western Front. On the bright side Schwartz may be OK, Beatty
may bounce back and RT Justin Pugh may justify his #19 overall pick in his 2nd
year. Consensus is they better because if Eli goes down another 39 times like
last year Tom Coughlin may join his son-in-law Snee as an ex-Giant next year.
Defense: STRENGTH- Everyone at the top
of this division appears to have the same blueprint defensively…one standout
and prayers for improvement from those around him. The Redskins have Orakpo, the
Eagles have Cole and the Giants hope to rely on a healthy Jason Pierre-Paul.
JPP was a monster in 2011-12, but slowed by injuries last year. If he’s all the
way back and Matthias Kiwanuka rediscovers his pass rush groove that pair along
with the solid addition of CB Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie could put the defense
head and shoulders above the rest of the division. With the top 3 here very
close and so many question marks in Wash and Philly a stout dependable defense
could be enough to vault the G-Men back into the playoffs.
WEAKNESS-
Linebacker…LOLB Spencer Paysinger is like Dick Van Dyke’s ottoman-you forget it’s
there till it screws you-but worse things could happen, MLB Jon Beason is a
very old and beat up 29, ROLB Jameel McLain crapped out of Baltimore over the
last two seasons and for top backup Mark Herzlich we have two words…Long
Snapper (keep it in mind). Still overall this defense is solid, as long as they
don’t have to cover up for another league worst 44 turnovers from the offense,
and could get them to the top of probably the overall weakest division (along
with the AFC South) in football.
DALLAS COWBOYS: Intellectual Bon Vivant
Christopher Hitchens once remarked of the Rev. Jerry Falwell, Iif you gave him
an enema you could bury him in a matchbox!” I often feel much the same way
about Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. He has a big payroll to cover, a fancy stadium
to fill and as GM he, as Bill Parcells put it, “bought the groceries” here so
he’s always gonna paint this club as a Super Bowl contender…Ah, sorry, no.
Offense: STRENGTH- This is not the
problem here. Even the once abysmal offense line has been shored up via the
draft and kudos to GM J.J. on that. Late season lapses aside Tony Romo is a
Tier 2 QB as the Fantasy folk would say and that’s pretty good. Dez Bryant,
Jason Witten and DeMarco Murray are also upper end Fantasy relevant and this
team will definitely put points on the board. So let’s move along to the more
pressing concerns…
WEAKNESS- There’s
a new rookie (Zach Martin) at RG, last year’s rookie lineman du jour LG Ronald
Leary under-performed a bit and RT Doug Free could revert back to his basket
case form of 2011-12, but overall this group is trending in the right direction.
But just as pro golfers say you Drive for show, you Putt for dough in the NFL
you Score for fantasy, you Defend for victory (what you were expecting Walt
Whitman?) and that brings us to…
Defense: STRENGTH- Ah, we’ll get back
to you…wait…what’s that MLB Sean Lee is out…never mind then, we’ll get back to
you.
A little something to soften the blow...and now...
WEAKNESS- They finished 26th in
Points Allowed, but as a team were +8 in T.O. Differential which is trick that
can only be pulled off by allowing over 6600 yds., good for worst in the NFL.
NT Henry Melton’s return from injury helps, but it’s offset by losing Lee and
the secondary was torched like Michael Jackson in a Pepsi commercial for nearly
4600 yds. and 33 TDs. This may not be the worst D in the NFL, but it’s
definitely not good and it’s hard to win shootout after shootout…if you don’t
believe us YouTube last year’s Detroit game for proof.
Back with more soon.
