Genius Is Grown Day-By-Day, Stupidity Arrives Fully Formed

    It's been a week since our last post so in catching up on the latest news we notice that the House Congressional Ethics Committee has announced a "Weiner Probe" which we can tell you from personal experience is not as much fun as it sounds. According to reports an unrepentant Congressman Weiner won't pull out, but if Republicans have their way it'll be "off with his head". Still give him credit, he's got balls.

   In sports news the media was all over Plaxico Burress upon his release from prison. Funny, Barney Fife never got that kinda publicity for shooting himself in the leg, but these are different times. And finally our "Seminal Sluts" series has finally borne fruit with 2011 WWE Hall of Famer Tammy "Sunny" Sytch now following us and exchanging messages on Twitter . Of course it could actually be a 50 year old, divorced plumber from Ohio, but I meet so few people in this line of work...

    I should also mention it's the most wonderful time of the year-the end of school. And at the High School level that also means the laborious chore of signing yearbooks for every pasty-faced, snot nosed, Cheeto eating bastard that passed through my educational transom. Several years ago after my 1000th insincere "Have a great summer" I decided to get "jiggy" with it, so to speak, so without further introduction and with a nod to that gawky, gap-toothed ,midwestern, semi-pedophile of late night TV here is my Top Ten Yearbook Signings for 2011:

10. Thanks for the night screams...

9. Yes, I'm on FaceBook, but I've "pre-ignored" you...

8. To my 52nd favorite student right after that girl with the lazy eye...

7. You found my address on the internet and you're coming to my house next Halloween? That reminds me, "get razorblades". OK, see ya in October...

6. I saw your Mom in The Guiness Book of World Records under "Longest case of Post-Partum Depression"...

5. You're our future? I wonder if they offer "Chinese as a Second Language" at the adult school...

4. You're the reason I sleep with a light on...

3. I haven't seen a more effiminate Jew in the closet since Anne Frank. Good luck in therapy...(RIP Greg Giraldo)

2. You're the reason God allowed Roe v. Wade...

...and the Number 1 Yearbook Signing for 2011...

1. What can I say, but...I hope you die, you fat pig...

    As for sports articles we hope to have a Women of ESPN column up by the end of the week.Now here's some completely needless, soft-core erotica...and, you know, I'm starting to re-think these Yearbook Signings, I mean at least until the tenure kicks in...
I've always been at the forefront of the push for School Uniforms...I mean these kids are under enough pressure dammit...

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