New Orleans Bowl Preview

HISTORY: Don't be fooled by the fact that this bowl falls third chronologically. Qualitatively this is the bottom of the barrel, as low as you can go, the William Hung of bowls. If this game were a Charlie's Angel it would be Shelley Hack. If it were a Mary Tyler Moore spinoff it would be Phyllis. This is the Matt Millen general managed, Rich Kotite coached, Kevin Costner written and directed, 1962 Mets meets Gigli of every bowl season. Strangely, though, while other games toil in such relatively out of the way locations as Boise, Shreveport, El Paso, Mobile and Albuquerque this bowl is played in an NFL city, in an NFL stadium- the Superdome. And therein lies part of the problem. The venue is just too big for the game. In fact if every member of the student bodies of Troy and Ohio U. attended the game the stadium would only be about three-quarters full. Blocks of empty seats look minor league. So does the payout which is perennially among, if not, the lowest around.  This year's teams split up $325,000 which is only "bottomed" by the BBVA Compass, formerly Papa John's, Bowl. Oddly the only other game with a payout less than at least double this is the Hawaii Bowl which I'm assuming figures, "screw you, you're getting to go to Hawaii." Money (and proximity) may be why UTEP asked out of this game, opting instead for potentially snowy Albuquerque and the New Mexico Bowl. The NO Bowl directors granted UTEP a release and ended up with a choice of three MAC teams, Ohio, Temple and Western Michigan, to fill their open slot. Considering Temple was the only bowl eligible team to be left home in 2009 and Western Michigan joined them this year after Ohio got the nod it doesn't say much for the travelling desire of MAC fans (see "The Jinx of Northern Illinois" in our Humanitarian Bowl post). Hopefully, however, the "Big Easy" Bowl will survive this year's Diamond Anniversary and it's Directors will continue to provide Sun Belt Conference fans with two major benefits: an automatic bid for the league champ and a chance to be flashed by co-eds legally. Go with God gentlemen.

TROY: The Trojans are the class of the Sun Belt Conference which is kinda like having the highest SAT score on The Jersey Shore. They've won or shared the title in each of the last 5 years yet actually got put in the corner like Baby during the 2007 Bowl Dance with no Johnny Castle to pull them out. Fact is the SBC is for the most part a "money game' conference. That is a bunch of schools a stone's throw from Hooterville who have no chance of competing against the BCS conference teams, but can fund their programs by taking it on the chin a few times a year from various SEC, ACC and Big 12 schools for a cut of the gate. Basically the Bruce "The Mouse" Strauss (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruce_Strauss) of FBS football. Troy is a bit better than this and don't be surprised if the continued conference re-shuffling causes the CUSA or WAC to come calling on them in the near future.
    Troy is also relatively exciting with an offense that put the ball in the air close to 500 times this year. They're led by QB Corey Robinson who was 12th in the nation with 3339 pass yards but keep your eye on "do everything" Jerrel Jernigan who finished the regular season with 5 receiving, 2 rushing, 1 passing, 1 kickoff return and 1 punt return TD. He's likely to get his hands on more balls Saturday than a priest at a Cub Scout meeting. Unfortunately they also have a defense so bad it could make the Maginot Line chuckle. In a late season 3 game stretch the Trojans D got blasted for 35 by 3-9 North Texas, 52 by conference co-champ FIU and 69 by South Carolina. Hopefully this mix will allow for enough fireworks to keep me up through my 9th hour of games Saturday, but I've stocked up on the Red Bull just in case.

OHIO: There's not much to say about Ohio that hasn't been shrugged about before. They're a relatively bland program, in dull uniforms, led by an efficiently boring coach, Frank Solich who generally favors a 3 to 1 run/pass ratio. It's enough to make vanilla yawn. Ohio backed into this bowl when they missed out on the MAC Conference Championship Game (and automatic bowl bid) by crapping the bed in the final week against 5-7 Kent State worse than a college freshmen topping off a night of tequila shots with a sack of White Castles...or so I've heard. Pretty much what you'd expect from a team that hasn't won the league title since 1968 and whose best pro might just be former Baltimore Ravens punter Dave Zastudil. Solich has already been quoted as saying they plan to play a ball control game, minimize turnovers and chew up the clock...well at least I hear the Beignets are good.

Ohio coach Frank Solich (that's really him) apparently prepares for Bowl games differently than say Pop Warner or Amos Alonzo Stagg.

There are really no good pictures of these team's cheerleaders, but I figure this Ravens Dancer won't weaken the war effort.