On September 8th, 1998 St. Louis native Tim Forneris perpetrated a crime on his family so heinous that to this day it makes the Menendez Brothers look like Wally and The Beav. For it was Forneris who caught Mark McGwire's historic 62nd HR ball and then did the unthinkable. Valued at between $2 and $4 million at auction Mr. Forneris turned the ball over to the then admitted illegal supplement using, later admitted steroid abusing, $10 million salaried McGwire for the princely sum of two bats and an all-expense paid vacation to Florida. One can only hope he beat holy Hell out of that mini-bar (Toblerones and Macadamia nuts for everyone!).
Point is certainly principles are important, but then again so is freeing your parents from the burden of Law School tuition (Forneris is, ironically, a lawyer now), donating to charity and keeping your future children out of Community College. So call me cynical, but when your good fortune comes at the expense of a half billion dollar MLB franchise and a take-the-money-and-bolt ballplayer why not travel the low road this one time. It's not like old Tim's magnanimous gesture has been reciprocated as any family of four who tried to get through a night at new Yankee Stadium for under a Grand can attest.
Which brings us to Auburn QB Cam Newton's father, Cecil Newton. Mr. Newton was in possession of a near equally valuable commodity. One prized by most major college presidents more than all the Peace Prizes in Oslo, that is a son with the ability to influence the outcome of football games. Unlike Forneris old Cecil apparently had seen the 1987 version of Wall Street and agreed with Gordon Gekko that, indeed, greed is good.
Still you don't earn Father of the Year if your efforts to provide well for your family puts any or all of those loved ones in danger. And therein lies the beauty of this whole saga for every proud pop of a potential Division FBS football stud for generations to come. For the NCAA ruling that Cam Newton is eligible to continue his collegiate career unpunished because he was never "told" his father was soliciting schools for his services sets up a more slippery slope than the one that took out Natasha Richardson (screw you, that's funny). Cam Newton's career proceeds unimpeded, Cecil Newton may or may not have walked off with $200,000 in cash and the precedent is established- ask and you may just receive.
So thank you Cecil Newton for exposing the NCAA Enforcement Committee for what it's always been, slightly more vigilant than Lindsay Lohan's parole officer. Thank you for showing fathers everywhere that with hard work, perseverance and a few syringes of Dynabol they too can legally provide well for their families even in these tough economic times (or at least "make it rain" for a few hours in a Birmingham strip club). And finally thank you for confirming that the 2010 Wall Street version of Gordon Gekko is absolutely right as regards the twisted morals of our current system, "Greed is still good...and now it's legal." So grab it while you can.
