It’s been a while, but we’re back with more left-of-center
ramblings on the Dog Days of the Diamond. Some notes, some predictions, a
dollop of stupidity that hopefully will help in your viewing enjoyment,
gambling and Fantasy Finagling…
SARATOGA: First a
quick shout-out to all those who participated in the annual Bowling Til It
Hurts Saratoga Extravaganza/Drunken Brawl.
The SPA’s opening day was attended by the largest group of BTIH revelers
to date and featured the usual grog-ing, gorging, gambling and gaping at the
gaggles of gorgeous girls in attendance. Generally seeing a pretty woman at the
race track is like seeing Democrats voting in a Mississippi Republican
Primary…something’s wrong behind the scenes. Opening Day at Saratoga, however,
is Derby Day done right with a relaxed atmosphere and bucolic setting that
brings out the beauties and ,Hell, there’s just something about a
Coors-swigging coed in a summer dress and six-inch heels that does this old
heart good…plus I like the giant, floppy hats…like a cross between a Southern
Matron and one of the Manson Girls…
Squeeky Fromme? Heck,
I’d throw her a chop…
TRADES: We’ll
have more on potential trades below, but the first big post-ASG trade hit
Friday with closer Huston Street going to the Angels. I’m usually wary of
players moving from the weaker NL to the AL, but Street did close (albeit less
successfully) with Oakland to start his career. He also survived a stint in the
thin air of Colorado and has saved a stellar 164 of 179 in the last 6 years so
he should remain solid.
The side-winding Joe Smith moves back to a setup role and is
immediate Fantasy fodder. As is Kevin Jepsen who appeared to be
closer-in-waiting if Smith faltered. Meanwhile 37 yo Joaquin Benoit moves into
the closer role in SD backed up by Dale Thayer and Kevin Quackenbush. Benoit
saved 24 for Detroit in 2013 so he’ll be given the opportunity, but as things
continue to go south in Friar-ville look for the 24 yo Quackenbush to perhaps
be thrust into the role as Chef of the fu…er…Closer of the future.
As for further Roster/Fantasy implications from this trade
only INF Taylor Lindsey, a #1 Prospect for both Baseball America and
Prospectus, is of any immediate note. He’s been average in AAA, but could be
pointing to a trade of 3B Chase Headley to a contender. Possible destinations
of KC or the Yankees would boost his run producing capabilities while freeing
him of offense numbing Petco Park. Stay tuned.
RYAN BRAUN: In
Monty Python’s Sex Education skit school master John Cleese asks the students
for a good way to stimulate intercourse to which a prep school lad replies, “…massaging
the clitoris…” An exasperated Cleese screams, “What about a simple kiss…why
must everyone go rushing headlong for the clitoris?!?” I feel the same way
about HRs and PEDs. Everyone links the two inextricably, but this season has
given us a perfect test case that shows the real underlying benefits of
Performance Enhance-ables.
This season the supposedly clean Ryan Braun has missed
nearly as many games (23) as he had in his previous 4 full seasons from 2009-12
(27). The true goal of steroids and other PEDs is not to necessarily create
bulk, but to expedite recovery from injury or soreness. No doubt Ryan Braun is
an excellent hitter and allowed to play a full season at near 100% the numbers
will no doubt add up. In reality, however, a 162-game grind should yield highs
and lows with nagging injuries or DL stints deflating numbers particularly as a
player gets into his 30s.
Braun has suffered from back problems and other dings this
season. His numbers are slightly deflated as one would expect and his days of
30+ steals (2010-11) are, like my hemorrhoids, all behind him now. Obviously
this could be coincidental, but career arcs like that of Barry Bonds, Roger
Clemens and others just don’t make sense no matter what kind of Workout
Warriors they claim to be. From a Fantasy perspective be wary of Braun come the
dog days of late August and September. On the wrong side of 30 and with the
little injuries adding up he could be a candidate for a juice-less fade down
the stretch.
THE WHY LIST: Like giving Matthew Perry another sitcom I often ask
why certain players are hanging around on rosters long past any sense of
usefulness. This week’s WHY Award is a tie between the Cubs Edwin Jackson and
the right-hander formerly known as Fausto Carmona, Roberto Hernandez of the
Phillies.
Jackson has “rebounded” from an
18 loss 2013 to go 5-10 with a well-fed 5.61 ERA. Meanwhile Hernandez is 4-8
while walking 4.6 per 9 IP and producing a -.1 WAR meaning any old Minor
Leaguer you throw a dart at could be expected to do just as well. Both Philly
and Chicago are long out of their races so if a bag of balls and a dented
batting practice screen become available these guys should move. Otherwise the
initials D.F.A appear to be in their very near future.
The Def Leppard Drummer Award: Handed out to relief pitcher with
appearances above and beyond the call of duty is currently led by Arizona
righty Brad Ziegler with 50 appearances to date. He’s succeeded as a setup man
in both Phoenix and Oakland, can pitch every day and is tough on righties with
a sidearm delivery. If Detroit hasn’t called about him yet somebody’s asleep at
the phones…
Baseball Bookshelf: This week’s selection is Tight Pussy,
Schmight Pussy; or Why I Like Loose Women by Jack Glasscock…Enjoy!
…and here’s Cristie Kerr
accepting the trophy at the LPGA Jack Glasscock Invitational…Congrats!
NL EAST REPORT
2nd half projections…
Washington: Once ATL C Evan Gattis returns from his rehab stint the
Nats and the Braves are all in for the Division Title. Barring injury I’m
giving the advantage to Washington whose staff is easily tops in the Division.
Jordan Zimmerman will avoid the DL and start Tuesday at Colorado meaning the
Big 4 of Zimmerman, Strasburg, Gonzalez and Fister is set for the final push.
Tanner Roark at 9-6, 2.91 and under 2 BBs per 9 makes for a nice kicker on the
river. Add in the Drew Storen, Tyler Clippard, Rafael Soriano bridge thru the 9th
and as long as the offense is adequate the ghosts of Goose Goslin and the
Senators could very well be vanquished this year.
Atlanta: Dan Uggla’s gone, but unfortunately B.J. Upton (.216 BA,
.619 OPS) lives on and bats leadoff for this squad. Combined with Chris Johnson’s
and Aaron Harang’s contracts with devil apparently expiring this team has some
cracks that Washington doesn’t. RHP Gavin Floyd hopes to be back, but anyone he
replaces would make for a lateral move at best. And maybe it’s just me but
something feels like ace Julio Teheran is gonna be draggin’ ass (it’s a
technical term) down the stretch as he fast approaches a personal IP high. If
only Kris Medlen and Brandon Beachy hadn’t gone under the knife in Spring
training…Damn You Tommy John! It should be close, but I see them hoping the NL
Central beats each other up so they can take a nice Wild Card tuck by season’s
end.
Marlins: Like an exotic dancer with an inner ear infection this
group has fallen off the table losing 6 straight lately. That said I’m not
buying the Mets whole big bag of crap either so those two should be close, battling
it out a safe distance from the playoffs in September. Any team with Jose
Fernandez and Giancarlo Stanton should be Wild Card eligible in the NL so 2015
could be their breakthrough year. Nathan Eovaldi and Henderson Alvarez are 24
years old and already adequate to serve behind Fernandez along with Baseball
Prospectus #1 prospect Andrew Heaney who dominated AA and should be back up in
September. Christian Yelich and Marcel
Ozuna compliment Stanton well in the outfield so if infield and bullpen help
emerges there’s a potentially bright future ahead…then again owner Jeffrey
Loria is one giant douchebag so things could go either way.
TRADE NOTE: 3B Casey McGehee and
his .386 OBA could bring in offers. He spent half a season with the Yankees in
2012 so they may be calling.
Mets: Closer Jennry Mejia announced yesterday that the Mets will
march into the playoffs because “they believe in each other!” I think the
Donner Party said the same thing about California. This is another eye on 2015
club. Matt Harvey, Jon Niese, Zack Wheeler and Jacob DeGrom could make up an above-average
to very good staff next year. As for top prospect Noah Syndergaard concerns
about his lack of AAA success seem premature. He’s only 21 yo and though his
ERA is 5.74 it appears to be inflated by an ungodly .383 BABIP (his FIP is only
4.10) and he’s striking out more than a batter per inning with only 2.79 BBs
per 9. If the expected Bartolo Colon trade yields a SS or corner OF this team
could be a Division contender next year, but it all hinges on Harvey.
Phillies: In High School our football team was described as “small,
but slow”. For the Phightins’ the phrase might be they’re “old, but fading”
and/or “inexperienced, but mediocre”. Rollins and Utley are soldiering on as
best they can, but Ryan Howard is done. Marlon Byrd, Cliff Lee, Jonathon
Papelbon and Cole Hamels are attractive trade chips and GM Ruben Amaro better
get a good haul because the future here looks bleak. The next shit Dominic
Brown gives will be his first while conversely Cody Asche, John Mayberry Jr.,
Cesar Hernandez and Cameron Rupp try hard but just don’t have the talent. The
bullpen is a mess save for hard throwing Jake Diekman and after viewing several
games I can say I see Ryne Sandberg as having a long career in the broadcast
booth ahead of him. Of note is C Carlos Ruiz who comes off the Concussion DL
shortly. He puts up adequate numbers and could be dangled in front of the
Wieter-less Orioles for prospects…There’s work to be done!
Thanks for the read and look in
soon for inanity!
