Another reason not to leave the house...sadly not mine, but another reason just the same...--First up it has been brought to our attention that the Lingerie Football League has suspended operations for the 2012 season (see here http://blog.chron.com/sportsupdate/2012/04/u-s-lingerie-football-league-to-forgo-2012-season/#4426-11 ) which doesn't really bother me since I only watch it for the articles anyway. According to a league spokesman there will be exhibitions available this year on a PPV basis, but why would I pay to see bodacious bimbos bouncing about in barely any clothes when I already get Univision for free...
The Chicago Bliss, we hardly knew ye...guess it's back to my other "Fantasy" Football teams now.--And now Ryan Braun. As we all know the Hebrew Hammer, the Semitic Slammer, the Gaza Rip, the Jewish Jacker, the Zionist Zephyr...alright I'm done now...avoided his 50-game Performance Enhancing Drug (PED) suspension on a technicality related to the handling of his offending sample. Realizing that this looked to the unwashed masses like another case of Loot over Legitimacy Braun then hinted that, if truth be told, there was a far more valid reason for him getting off and being deemed clean, but then he, not suprisingly, refused to tell that, supposed, truth and clear his name.
At this point I think this has become an all too familiar refrain. Just like we all know that the 6' 2", 115 lbs. psuedo-skeleton with brown teeth and burn marks on his fingers buying 27 boxes of Sudafed at Walgreen's doesn't have the sniffles-well, maybe he does but that's not an anti-biotic issue-we know MLBers are doing anything and everything to get an edge, lame defenses notwithstanding.
So now everyone outside of Cheese Country will be watching Braun's HR total viewing any drop as an indicator of his cheating and subsequent lying ways, but this is the narrow view. The record smashing of a muscled Mark McGwire and bloated Barry Bonds has led everyone to equate PEDs with power and strength. Certainly, as proven by bodybuilders and Pro Wrestlers, longterm cycling will lead to bulked up muscle mass, but that may not be the benefit that most Diamond druggists are getting. In the real world steroids and their like are used to stimulate healing and recovery, a not unimportant consideration for players over a grueling 162 game schedule. Or in real world terms think of David Ortiz's (whose paunchy, flabby physique reminds us of the old Dusty Rhodes proclamation, "there ain't a steee-roid runnin' through this body"...no shit) power outage of a few years back while playing through a wrist injury as the type of thing that can happen, unreported often, to ballplayers throughout a given year.
As for Braun he's put up well in excess of 600 plate appearances in the last 3 years with remarkably steady production across the board. Of course this could just be a function of his being in his 25-27 year-old prime. In 2009, however, we had Braun on our Fantasy team and watched his season closely. From virtually spring training on reports were that Rockin' Ryan was suffering from side/rib concerns and a mere trunk twist away from the DL yet he never missed more than a game here and there, put up over 700 PAs and delivered spectacular numbers that allowed even this eternally pessimistic owner to pull "a Sutter" (the feet up, arms crossed pose that Whitey Herzog affected whenever shut down closer Bruce Sutter entered a game for the 80's Cardinals) while waltzing to a title.
So if you're like us and get your pathetic, lazy-ass jollies from seeing the "Doers and Thinkers", as Waylon Jennings once put it, of the world get their occasional comeuppance keep an eye on Ryan Braun's health this season it just might tell us more than all the urine in Milwaukee.
Steroids...they're not always a bad thing (Note: this is the sadly deceased Marianna Komlos who portrayed "Mrs. Cleavage" as part of a Leave It To Beaver gimick in one of the strangest WWE storylines ever- http://prowrestling.wikia.com/wiki/Marianna )--In a similiar note on the Professional Eating Circuit is Marijuana considered a Performance Enhancing Drug?
--I'm not really a "car guy" and I don't feel the "need for speed". In fact the only speeding ticket I ever received was in a college parking deck for doing 9 in a 5 MPH zone which I tried to get out of by explaing to the Rent-A-Cop that "there's no way I was doing 9, my car shimmies at 8...I'd have known if I was doing 9". And this is how we awkwardly stumble into the annual debate regarding Tim Lincecum's velocity.
It seems like every year this issue comes up and every year it's forgotten in short order as T-Lin begins posting his usual numbers as the weather heats up or after a few poor mid-season outings regardless of what the speed gun is reading. At this point, however, let us state that velocity is important. For every Jamie Moyer that wins with guile there are 20 Aaron Laffey's whose fleeting success is forgotten amidst a cacophany of unconditional releases and occasional LOOGY-dom (Lefty One Out Guy). Even the successful survivors like Ted Lilly, Randy Wolf and the current incarnation of Freddy Garcia struggle to top the 12-14 win and .500 record mark. You see like dating, say J-Lo, battling through MLB lineups on your wits and craftiness alone is difficult what with outthinking the hitter, carrying around her "purse dog", living on the corners, helping with hair extensions, getting a favorable umpire, hearing about how Steven Tyler smells, counting on your defense...er...perhaps I've mixed up my metaphors here, but you get the point, it's Hard Work.
So does that mean that the drop from a 92.8 MPH average fastball last year to a 90.5 reading in his two disastrous starts (well one disastrous, the other just so-so) this year is meaningful? Yes...and no. First despite his goofy demeanor Lincecum knows his craft. He's survived similiar drops by developing and working his changeup and slider to keep hitters off balance with a different look and pattern. More importantly TL seems to know his body. At 160 pounds he's more susceptible to the rigors of 30-35 starts than say your C.C. Sabathia's and Felix Hernandez's. He's had consecutive seasons of 33 starts and 200+ innings so there is a good chance Lincecum is just gearing himself up slowly for what would appear to be the long playoff run ahead. One indication of this is that according to pitch stats he's thrown only a handful of sliders, a pitch he's used to great effect in recent years, in his first two starts resorting to mostly fastballs and changeups. So if you're the kinda person who likes to make the occasional sports "investment", shall we say, Google PITCH F/X stats and keep an eye on the breakdown of pitches in Lincecum starts. Even if the velocity doesn't come back a willingness to mix in more sliders may be the key that the Giants ace is ready to make his move...I mean, no inducement to gamble, but we're just sayin'...
Smart girls know it's not all about speed...--And speaking of gambling how 'bout going against the Twins vs. Left-Handed pitching. Now saying the Twins stink this year is not exactly news, but a quick perusal of their lineup shows it to be spectacularly unbalanced to as Rocky Balboa would say the "South Philly, South Jersey, south paw" side. In two games this year vs. C.J. Wilson and Matt Harrison the Twins lineup got beat up by Lefties worse than Phil Mickelson's teenage penis recording only 10 hits, 2 runs and a 0.72 ERA against in those efforts. Being anchored by Justin Morneau and Joe Mauer no doubt makes facing Lefties a problem, but it's excerbated by the non-platoon of port siders Chris Parmelee and Sean Burroughs at first, a lefty leadoff man in Denard Span, the acquisition of Devil-handed (at least hitting-wise) Clete Thomas to cover RF and the fact that switch-hitters Ryan Doumit and Alexi Casilla both show considerably a higher OPS vs. RHP. Heck if lefty masher Josh Willingham goes down to injury you may wanna grab the baby's college fund and head to Vegas...but then as our College Football Selections will attest we've been wrong before. Still after being owned by Wilson/Harrison, but beating up on top line righties Jered Weaver and Dan Haren this may be a trend to keep an eye on.
I'd like to lose at Old Maid to this girl...That's enough for today...next week we'll have a Mets overview (hopefully before the inevitable crash) and the fallout from the decision of S.F. closer Brian Wilson to join the latest ZZ Top tour or whatever the Hell is gonna keep him out the rest of the year. Drink up, be nauseous!
