Another Day In Stinktown

Sorry for the delay in posting, but due to recent High School sports hazing incidents coaches in our school district were required to attend two Sensitivity Training seminars this year. Since many of the incidents, inexplicably, feature sodomy the Psychologist running our meeting attempted to explain that this was the heterosexual BMOC's way of protecting their turf...Now I'm no Doctor, but it would seem to me that if word got out that teammates were rammin' things up each others butts, at say football training camp, pretty soon every Glee watching "Friend of Dorothy" in the school would be going out for the team. Or to paraphrase the old Bob Nelson bit you'd wind up with no "Tight Ends" and 27 "Wide Receivers".

    In addition the lecturer brought some items that he said were commonly used in these rituals including a broom handle, a pine cone and golf balls. Now the first one I could understand, but the latter two seem to require the "sodom-er" to get rather personal. I went to a predominantly Irish Catholic school and all I could imagine is getting a Titleist halfway to some whiskey-dicked Micks large intestine only to have him let out a cabbage fart and they'd have lop my arm off at the elbow before I ever felt comfortable again.

    But I'm just saying...

    As for our more traditional writing please check back in the next day or so for our sarcastic look at the New York Mets which I believe will be both whimisical and enlightening. Which I'm sure is what you come for...But just in case...
"I take Ryan Braun"..."I take uh...uh...Gabe Kapler?"
My vote for Philly's 5th starter.